About Time

I had to walk to the barn one evening last week and happened to see this calf standing at the water trough with one of God's great sunsets framing him.  I'll never tire of seeing a great sunrise or sunset.

During this parenting adventure I find that I am constantly either looking forward or backward, but not relishing in the moment nearly enough.  

For instance, if I leave the house with all the kids now and feed them at 11:30, I have enough time to pick up parts, groceries and run to the bank and be home just in time for naps so I can run snap tests on cattle while the baby sleeps and then start supper during snack time.  Perfect.

Or planning for the week: We can help work cattle these three days and skip naps, and then schedule me picking up feed on Thursday afternoon at 2.  It's a 45 minute drive which will work perfectly for the kids to nap in the pickup. 

Or, you can plan everything perfectly, lay exhausted kiddos down for a nap and then your husband decides to dry fire his implant gun in the house multiple times to test it and now everyone is awake and cranky.  (I cannot even make this stuff up.  That happened as I was typing the previous paragraph.) 

As you can see, my life primarily revolves around working for my husband and then fitting the children in around the cattle and crops in our life.  

***

I feel like this is how we operate in agriculture as well, always looking forward or backwards but rarely taking a moment to enjoy the now.  The kids were helping me grocery shop last week and I grabbed a package of multiple cans of wasp and hornet spray to throw into our cart.  Kenyon asked why I was grabbing that already as technically this is still winter.  My answer to him?  "It's about time to think about shipping calves."  

From his perspective I was being absolutely ridiculous, but in middle-aged parent math I feel this timeline checks out.  

It's about time to start calving, which means its then about time to turn cattle out on grass, then about time to burn, then about time to work calves, about time to bale and haul hay all day, then play baseball all evening, then about time to finish projects for the fair, then about time load trucks at all those pens with angry hornets and wasps.  

Yes, sir.  About three good blinks and it will be the end of summer.  Then it'll be about time to chop sileage, wean calves, preg check cows, survive the dreaded holiday season and BOOM.  It's 2025.  I feel like I should say Happy New Year, but at this point I don't know if I'm dreadfully late for 2024 or incredibly early for 2025.  

Teeny, Tiny People

When the babies were little, they were constantly attached to me.  I was often holding them on my hip or chest so they were RIGHTINMYFACE and BREATHINGMYAIR most all day, every day.  Which is the wonderful part about having babies, don't get me wrong.  Even for their small size, they were huge in my eyes due to their proximity. 

Now the babies are getting older and.... smaller.  They no longer breathe my air.  The are rarely right in my face, unless they are showing me the latest bump, scrape, bruise, turtle, blackbird or the like to impress me.  These days I mostly see them from a distance, which is becoming increasingly alright with me.  A friend told me once that raising kiddos never gets easier, it just gets different.  Each day I am becoming more aware of just what he meant.  

See what I mean?  I wasn't joking.  Blackbird.  In my face.  He was so proud of himself for catching it.  Still not sure how he managed that one. 

We spent a few days last week hauling hay.  Kenyon LOVES to drive the pickup and flipper trailer through the fields so I can load him with the tractor.  Once I get him loaded he dutifully slides over and lets me drive down the road to the hay yard to unload.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  Load after load. 

Not only can he do the manly chores like haul hay, but he's great at walking home to make sandwiches for everyone as well!  He really wanted to keep loading hay while I went home to make sandwiches, but he definitely lost that argument. 

We had to wait nearly 10 minutes for the men to switch fields and bring us a tractor, which is approximately 10,000 eternities in young man years.  He sat on the tail end of the flipper trailer and nearly died of boredom.  

"Seriously, Mom.  I think they forgot about us.  There is no way it should be taking this long.  We should just go find them."

I love picking up these tiny hitchhikers I find alongside the road.  All the kids love to take turns riding in the swather and baler with their grandpa and dad.  After spending many long hours bouncing around in the cab I drive to the appropriate middle-of-nowhere location and find the tiny dot standing at the side of a field that is hopefully my child. 

I loved stumbling upon this scene a few days ago.  The kids found the best vantage point (the top of the ground load trailer) and watched their dad go back and forth with the tractor and baler.  I believe if you click on the individual photos you can enlarge them.

Nearly every Saturday morning while the rest of the world is watching cartoons, we have our kiddos out working a load of calves that arrive to our place the night before.  I run one side of the chute- giving shots, worming and putting in ear tags while my husband works the other side.  He runs the hydraulics of the chute to catch each calf, gives other shots and implants as well as brands each calf with a hot iron.  We both keep an eye on the kiddos as they push calves up the alleyway or simply see how much dirt they can possibly cover themselves in.  Not to brag or anything, but they could earn a gold medal in the filthy kid category.  Hands down.  

The boys have to practice their penmanship skills when they number all the ear tags and vials for BVD testing that I then run in the afternoons.  

This new, different chapter is difficult for me to process at times but I'm slowly adapting.  I never dreamed it would be this enjoyable to watch the children grow bigger physically but become teeny-tiny in my eyes as they become more independent. 

Video Games

An oldie but goodie from several years ago. 
This child fell off the top of a panel
and didn't have such a great landing.

Our kids get hurt a lot. 

It bears repeating:

Our kids get hurt A LOT.  

One is currently waiting on a fingernail to grow in after it was smashed by a brick (But Mom, the brick was already starting to come down when he slid his hand right in the way!), one child has a nail sliced in half from a nasty lead rope accident with his show heifer and we just got done doctoring an unenviable case of hives.  We had more concussions than I'd like to count.  Fallen off the top of trailers, top of panels, been kicked, been stepped on... staples, stitches, casts... the list is endless.  

Through all this, my husband and I buckle down and do our best to triage and treat each case and run to the appropriate medical facility if necessary.  However, we try not to get mad at our kiddos for getting themselves into a bind.  

Why?

It could be worse - they could be inside playing video games.  

We knew a kid once that was welding on a panel and managed to burn down an entire machine shop.  Equipment, tools and supplies were all destroyed.  It was rather devastating.  However, a friend stopped by one day to chat and reminded the family that things could have been worse - the kid could have been inside playing video games.  We've clung to that wisdom and repeated it endlessly over the years.

They will learn about gravity not from Mario Brothers (is that even still a thing?) but from dropping bales from a barn loft.  

They will learn about pulling weeds not from Farmville (again, sorry for the dated references but this is all I can think of) but from busting their backsides in the garden. 

And they'll learn how to run from snakes, well, from me.  That's my favorite contribution.  Running from snakes to find a long shovel and 'relocate' them (to heaven).  I whisper that last part so my husband doesn't hear me.  

We hope we're giving them a childhood full of old fashioned experiences that allows them to have stories to tell when they grow up and fills them with wisdom to help them be functional adults.  

Wisdom comes from experience.
Experience is often a result of a lack of wisdom.
-Terry Pratchett

There Goes the Neighborhood

Imagine being a good farm wife and having a perfect little tidy farmhouse in the middle of nowhere and enjoying quiet evenings with cattle bawling and occasionally the hum of a tractor working ground in the distance.  

Then imagine a couple, her grandson and new wife, building a house just down the road and upending everything.  Great grandchild after great grandchild after great grandchild after great grandchild being born and learning to adjust over the years to a steady stream of curious, filthy and often hungry neighbors landing on your porch any time between sunrise and sunset.  

I will miss the way morning chores that should have taken 30 minutes turned into hours as 'Can we just stop by Grandma Curry's?' each day.  I will miss the phone calls each evening 'Well, what do you know, dear?' .

I will miss some of those ridiculous things that once made me want to tear my hair out, like when she taught Kathryn that bonks and scrapes on her body would feel better if you rubbed Suave's wild cherry blossom scented lotion on them.  Kathryn would come inside from playing and absolutely REEK of the wild cherry blossom scent.  'Momma, I got a little bonk.  But it's okay because Grandma Curry put some medicine on it.' 

I will miss how each time I made cookies, or cheesy biscuits, or a host of other things the kids would fight over who got to carry the container over and who got to knock on the door and who got to actually hand the container to her.  Like mobsters, we felt obligated to give a cut of our sweets as tribute to our elders.  

I will miss her quizzing the kids about their livestock and listening to them answer her like the little 70 year old men that they are.  

I will miss dragging her out of the house and taking drives on backroads, listening to the stories of who used to live at each old homestead and who that person married and just how good of a basketball player their son was. 

I will miss hearing the same old stories that I've heard hundreds of times.  Thankfully I can almost recite most of them from memory at this point.  Ask me about the time Stanley had a procedure done and the doctor told him to take it easy so he went out on the dozer to do some dirt work and didn't come home until after dark.  Do it, I dare ya'.  I'll tell it to you just like I was there, because I've lived similar stories right alongside her, just 60 years apart.  I couldn't hardly tell her a story about my husband without watching her throw her hands up in the air and roll her eyes stating 'oh, yes, I know all about that.  Stanley used to be just like that, dear'. 

I now tear up each time I open the refrigerator and a cascade of these damn juice boxes she had delivered from the senior center come tumbling out.  I don't know what she really ate from those senior center meals because she was always calling to warn me 'I just sent home a little something with the kids, dear'.

I won't try to flatter myself and say we were best friends; she had a lady or two in town and they truly were joined at the hip most of their lives.  But I will miss my battle buddy, my comrade-in-arms, my confidant for over a decade that knew the sheer hell it can be at times to love a stubborn ass Curry man.  

I'm thankful our children had a home away from home and someone to dote on them when their mother didn't take their injuries or injustices seriously enough.  

And I'm most thankful we never said goodbye.  Every conversation ended with 'Well, talk to you tomorrow' or 'see you later'.  So when things were going downhill and she was leaving our house I made sure to tell her one last time we'll see you later. 

Trivial but Necessary: An Autobiography

So many of the tasks I complete these days are... less than glamorous?  Menial?  Pretty basic?  Any of these descriptions would suffice.  Let's be honest, I'm not out here curing cancer.  I'm a professional diaper changer and fire-putter-outer for my husband. 

For instance, this morning I had to drop everything and run out the door with all the kids so I could drive my SUV and lead trucks filled with cattle to their summer pasture.  It's way out in the middle of nowhere and difficult to give directions to someone in hopes that they'll end up at the right pasture.  'Turn at the tree that burned down a few years ago.'  'Go past that pasture with the pens and turn west at the next pasture with a similar set of pens.' 

You can see how things could south rather quickly.  Sometimes I actually get my own pickup and trailer.  Today was not that day. 

I'm trying to get better at finding the joy in this season of life.  Today I grabbed my camera and managed to snap a few pics.  We are very fortunate to live in this area and that is never lost on us.  

What Else Ya' Got?

It's been a spring to remember around here.  Even six months ago we knew it would be a crazy spring to remember.  We knew the baby was going to be due at the tail end of calving, in the middle of burning pastures, dumping calves on grass, tornado season, yada, yada, yada.  Spring is a busy time around here and having a brand new baby on top of it all makes it that much more difficult.

Then life began to throw 'extras' at us.

A global pandemic.

Schooling at home.

Friends with cancer.

No birthing coach at the hospital with you.

The doctor is in quarantine for visiting Florida.

You're mom can't spend time with you after the baby is born.

It just seems like one thing after another.  Sometimes you feel like breaking down, but what good would it do?  Answer: absolutely none.  I come from one of the most pragmatic families I know, and we just don't play into hysterics or dramatics.  So sometimes I allow myself a few moments to shed a few tears and then you just plow forward and think of things that are manageable and going right.

Calving is (knock on wood) going swimmingly and I haven't had a calf in the house yet this year.

No one I know is actually infected with this blasted COVID-19.

Friends are getting the best of care and making strides in treatment and we couldn't ask for more right now.

It's my fourth kid, so while I WANT someone to coach me through contractions, surely I can manage without.

Same with my mother not being able to come up after the baby's birth.  While I most certainly WANT her here, I've prepped meals and filled my freezer for the past several weeks and stocked up as much as possible and I will survive without much outside intervention in my kitchen.  I tried to have a small pity party last night and sent my mother a text telling her as much.  Her reply?  Millions of others are in the same boat and separated.  We'll manage.

Every time my husband calls and needs me to cook lunch for a crew of men and take it out to the pasture and I'm right in the middle of homeschooling and a million other things I say the same thing to him: we'll manage.

Every time I feel a bit overwhelmed about having 4 kids in a little over 6 years I remember that many women have managed to have more children in less time, and manage life with more children total.  I just remind myself, we'll manage.

Like I said, we don't do dramatic.  I am fortunate to have my mom, in laws and friends only a phone call away when so many don't.

Sooo…. the crib is built, the laundry is almost caught up and I have a few meals of leftovers in the fridge right now.  I'm ready for this baby to get here!  I have a picture in my mind.  Five years from now this child will sit on my lap and while we rock I'll tell them about this crazy spring and they'll never believe it.

In the meantime I'll just keep my big girl panties pulled up, look the devil square in the eye and ask what else ya' got?

My Least Glamorous Post Ever

I want to preface this post by stating that I get immense satisfaction from weird 'adulting' tasks.  You know, handling shit on my own.  I don't always necissarily enjoy the process, but the end results can be so gratifying.  Case in point, finding health insurance each year for our family.  (I highly recommend looking into your area Farm Bureau health plans if you reside in Kansas.) This year, due to my diligence we should be able to save HUNDREDS each month in health insurance.  Hundreds of dollars, folks, not clam shells.  So exciting.  But I digress...

Finding hew health insurance is just one way that I am able to help my family succeed.  As an uber glamorous stay-at-home mom I am not always able to bring more money in for my family, but I can always find ways to save.  We have the cheapest cable tv package possible, we keep our heater on low in the winter (put on a damn sweater, people!), I make meals from scratch (yes, even when I'm tired and feeling lazy), and my personal favorite: I CLIP COUPONS.  

I've watched the extreme couponing shows and while that is aspirational, I cannot achieve that so I don't even try to purchase $600 worth of canned goods for $4. I would liken this to working out each day thinking I can someday look like a Victoria's Secret model.  These goals are not feasible for me so I try to set reasonable goals and hit them rather consistently.  Therefore, I try to run/walk several miles per week to keep myself healthy and I try to save as much as possible when couponing.  

The following is a rough outline of my couponing system.  On this particular excursion I managed to combine store coupons, Sunday paper coupons and sales in order to save $107 on a $300 shopping trip.  (Okay, technically it was $106.97 but this is my story and I'm rounding up the three cents.) 

I like to shop in the mornings as the stores are much less crowded.  It is worth it to me to get my behind out of bed and get going in order to miss the lunch crowd, the 'we're skipping naptime and that's why my kid is having a meltdown' crowd and all sorts of other various less desirable groups to shop with.  I find that shopping in the mornings usually leaves me surrounded by older men in overalls, and I'm perfectly at home in this environment.  

Shopping in the mornings means that I need to spend time planning my shopping trip sometime the day before.  It doesn't take me long; I just need 30 minutes to get prepared.  I'm not sure how else I can 'make' over $100 in 30 minutes for my family (despite what all those online businesses promise). 

Behold, my shopping list below which is really quite simple.  I list out everything I need.  The asterisk * next to items indicates that I have a coupon.  Two asterisks ** indicates two coupons for that item.  Also, I write a small description next to items that I have a coupon for.  This saves me soooooo much time in the store.  I don't have to search through all my coupons to find out if my cottage cheese needed to be 12 ounces, 20-30 ounces, buy two get one free, etc.  I simply write out briefly next to each item.  

• Soy sauce >55oz. *

(Purchase soy sauce, greater than 55 ounces, use a coupon.)

• Cheese, 24-32oz. **

(Purchase any cheese, 24-32 ounces, I have two coupons so purchase two packages of cheese.)

Also, you may notice that I have soy juice listed on my shopping list.  I do not, nor does anyone in my immediate family, drink this.  We love our dairy!  However, when my sweet little grandma asks me to purchase this I won't say no.  Whew.  Glad that's off my chest. 

After writing out my list I take a moment to sort through my coupons and order them.  I normally accumulate more than one coupon for the same item so I put all my salad coupons into one pile, all the cheese coupons in one pile, etc.  Then I can place them into my coupon divider quite easily.  The coupon divider is a small item that costs approximately $8 and allows me to sort coupons into categories.  One space for: refrigerated groceries, shelf stable groceries, toiletries, cleaning supplies, baby items, batteries, etc.  You can certainly arrange categories depending upon your personal needs.  

Also, turn your head sideways and view the coupons below.  I often have multiple coupons for the same product.  I place them in chronological order so the coupon expiring the soonest is on the top.  When pulling out coupons from my divider in the store this makes for one less hassle. 

Also of importance - COUPONS DON'T ALWAYS MAKE THINGS CHEAPER!  Behold below.  I really like to use Persil detergent (please consider this a plea to sponsor me, dear Persil executives).  I had a coupon for the Persil tabs.  After reviewing the unit price for each I noticed that the tabs were DOUBLE the price of the liquid detergent.  My $1 coupon was not enough to make up for the price difference.  (Also, I realize that the example below is for cereal.  It was the best picture example I could find on Google.)  

And there you have it folks, my couponing system in a nutshell.  I wasn't lying, this is likely one of my least glamorous posts ever, but perhaps one of the most important ones to my family.  If I can do this with three kiddos in tow I have faith that you can too.  I can't always bring in extra money, but I can always find ways to trim the fat and save for my family!  Now go forth and save!

The Long Game

It's that time of year again; the time when our alarm goes off at 5:30 each morning and our heads hit the pillow absolutely exhausted at 10 each night.

It's the time of year when I cook as much as possible on the grill so I don't have to turn on the oven and heat up the house because we refuse to turn on the air conditioner just yet.

It's the time of year when the boys wake up at 5:45 and barrel down the stairs for the day.  They see the sun shining through their window and know that they need to get in gear.

It's the time of year to pick cherries and then enjoy the fruits of your labor.  Literally.  (One of the few times literally has actually been used correctly.)

It's the time of year that we don't see much of my husband and I'm a single parent 90% of the time.  This is getting better as the kids get older but it's still me the majority of the time.

It's the time of year when we do get an occasional evening to see Wesley and spend some time as a family fishing together.

It's the time of year when we spend lots of time in the garden and flower beds and I try to incorporate science and life lessons in here and there.

It's a very fulfilling life, a very tough life and hopefully one day a very rewarding life.  When things get too hard sometimes Wesley and I will sit at the supper table long after the dishes have been put away and make sure we are still on the same page with our goals.  We make sure that 'not raising little assholes' is at the top of our list, followed by a bevy of other things.  We try to find the balance between providing a nice life for the kiddos and creating little monsters that don't understand what work is.  We want them to realize food doesn't just come from a grocery store, money doesn't grow on trees and hard work is worth it.  I don't know that we always get that balance correct, but I hope the majority of the time this is the case.

I appreciate so many things about these kiddos.

I love that they enjoy simple things in life.  We went on vacation and the thing they enjoyed the most was paddle boating as a family on the lake each morning, not the flashing lights and hoopla found everywhere else.

I love that they enjoy hard work.  They LIVE to work calves and help me in the wood shop.  Kenyon jumped in the alleyway to push baby calves one day, got kicked several times and was so proud to show me the bruises from his hard work.

I love that they are content to play for hours outside.  They can make their own entertainment without screen time.

I love that they enjoy grocery shopping with me and are starting to understand coupons and sales, or at least understand that they are of major importance to our family.  This has lead to several conversations about price as well as value.

I love the big picture, hard questions that Kenyon is starting to ask.... most of the time.  Sometimes I find myself tiptoeing as delicately as possible.  Still answering the question but in a roundabout way.  Not much gets by him and therefore he's got THOUSANDS of questions that need answered.  Every. Single. Day.

I read a quote once that really stuck with me.  If you raise your kids then one day you'll be able to enjoy and spoil your grandkids.  If you spoil your children you'll end up raising your grandkids.  This part of our lives is absolutely exhausting, but we keep this quote in the forefront of our minds and tell ourselves that someday it will all be worth it.  Not saying it's a guarantee, but at least we're trying to build a strong foundation for the long haul.

Rules

I guess I should preface this blog post by stating that I think my children are decently behaved when we are in town settings.  It's when we are at home and running wild that all these opportunities for mischievous deeds present themselves.  I never knew I was going to need to make so many rules, yet here we are...

• Don't body slam your sister, she's only one year old.
• Don't body slam your brothers, I just had a talk with them. 
• That's called a headlock and it's not nice. Please let go of your sibling. 
• When it is less than 40 degrees outside you may not 'help' your brother take an outside shower with water from the rain barrel. 

And then there are some rules with more than one focal point to them.  (These are reallllly difficult to follow.) 

• First, please don't climb on top of the cake feeder on your dad's pickup.  Second, if you're up there you sure as hell don't get down by jumping onto the top of his cab, his hood, his grill guard and then the ground.  Sigh.

My personal favorite, thus far:

• No, you may NOT rope a dead critter and hang it over the fence.  That is NOT actually a piñata, contrary to your interpretation of my now least-favorite PBS show. 

Ages and Stages

This is, without a doubt, the most fun stage with the kids thus far. 

This is, without a doubt, the most exhausting stage with the kids thus far. 

God bless child photographers.  They must be alcoholics.  I am a pro at getting one kid to smile, one kid to grimace and one to find a rock.  Every time.  

Kenyon is five with the soul of a 65 year old man.  When you talk to him he'll normally ask, "So, what've you been up to this morning?".  He likes a lot of cattle, a little bit of farming, a little bit of mechanicing and a little bit of woodworking.  He also enjoys playing, as most five year old boys are wont to do, but playtime usually consists of gathering and processing play calves with his brother.  He asks 100 questions an hour easily.  If you've ever met him you know that this is in no way an exaggeration.  He's starting to recognize and grasp some bigger concepts about life and so there are some deep conversations as we drive down the road and he stares out into the pastures. 

John is now three and is blossoming nicely.  He has some quiet, sneaky, middle-child tendencies.  For example, we caught him sitting at the supper table one evening trying to stuff little bites of steak into his arm cast so he could have them for a snack later when he went to bed.  

He is much like his older brother and loves the outdoors, animals, pretending to spit chew.... you know... man stuff.  Along those lines, he is also fearless with a poor grasp on the inner workings of gravity and thus he is also our injury prone kiddo.  He got an arm cast off last week and is doing marvelously now. 

Sweet Kathryn is one.  Although she looks like a girl, please don't be fooled.  She is a little boy and does absolutely everything that her older brothers do.  One of her favorite things to do currently is stand in front of a toilet, tree or tire, lift her shirt up and thrust out her pelvis.  When she is done pretending to potty she lets out a satisfied 'ahhhhhhh', lowers her shirt and walks away.  It's slightly disturbing, but really adorable at the same time.  She is starting to talk and I need to record it.  Her voice is light and airy and a little slice of heaven.  At night she tells her brothers "night, night.  Love oooh" and it melts my heart.  I will never tire of hearing that.  

Like all siblings, there is a fair amount of fighting.  For instance, we see here the classic "MOM WHY IS HE STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME?" face.

Which 87 % of the time is followed by the classic 'I'm gonna hit you with my face in retaliation' move.  That'll teach him, kiddo.  Good move. 

This picture perfectly sums up how most of my days go.  One child needed help buttoning his jeans after relieving himself so I turned my back for one moment to assist him.  I then heard a shriek from Kathryn who had managed to get herself stuck in the middle of the only mud puddle in a 40 acre trap.  

Here we see Kathryn mimicking her mother's classic WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL YOU KIDDOS? face.  She's seen it once or twice, tops.  (Insert hearty laugh here.) 

These days a blur, but I'm sure one day I'll look back at these pictures and smile.