Friday, January 23, 2015

The No-No Monster

I may have done tooooo good a job of parenting.  (Insert hardy laughter here.)  Kenyon now likes to walk around the house and constantly critique me and my housekeeping skills.  I like to think that I set the bar low intentionally just to keep him constantly occupied.  (Again, insert a mild chuckle here.  Don't worry, I'll wait.)

He helps me take out the trash.  I take the filled grocery sacks out of the trash cans, tie them up and hand them to Kenyon, who then drags them to the back door.  Now, every time he sees a nearly-full can he shouts "NO-NO!" and proceeds to pull the sack out of the trashcan.  Because obviously his mother was too lazy to take out the trash in a timely manner.

If he dribbles milk out of his sippy cup he immediately shouts "NO-NO" and waits for me to bring him a paper towel so he can wipe up the mess.  I was getting ready in the bathroom this morning when I heard him knock knock on the door.  (Not only does he knock knock, but he also verbalizes this, because he knows his mother is slow.)  When I opened the door I found my little shirtless man in a tizzy because he had dribbled milk onto his belly and it needed wiped up rightthisminute.

Kenyon has now taken to pacing back and forth in the kitchen, looking for any signs of dirt or manure that may have fallen off his dad's boots.  He will then stand at attention, pointing as well as any bird dog and shout "NO-NO!" until his mother brings a broom and dustpan to sweep up the offending specks.

If you think your house is spotless, don't worry, I'll lend you a one year old for an afternoon.  He'll bash your ego until you feel one step below a caveman.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Running for Office

I can't be absolutely sure, but I think that my son is gearing up for a run at a public office.  I can't ask him directly, though, as I'm sure he'd evade my line of questioning and say something vague about how he's 'keeping his options open'.

Why do I think this?  Take the following examples.....

He loves to kiss his baby cousin, Kade.  Every time he sees him it is nothing but lovin' for that little ball of cuteness.  I'm not sure if Kade's parents are in our jurisdiction or not; I guess I will know more when Kenyon finally lets me know if it is a state or local office.

Kenyon and I sat on the inside edge of the pew at church on Sunday.  He stood on my lap at the end of the service and shook hands with every old lady as they filed down the aisle.  Don't think he didn't break some hearts that day.

Kenyon's great-grandparents came out to the house to play on Sunday evening.  Each and every time his great grandpa would do something amusing, Kenyon would laugh like there was no tomorrow.  Not only did he laugh heartily, he really put on a show and would double over with laughter, holding his stomach, and turn his head to the side to make sure they were watching the entire time.  There is sucking up, and then there is realllllllllly going overboard.  We were definitely in the overboard stage at that point.

Sooooo, kissing babies, shaking hands and kissing up to folks.  If he's not running for some sort of public office, what else could it be?

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things: Kenyon Edition

  • Books, books, books.  And someone to read them to him most of the time. 
  • Cows (or any sort of cattle, really).
  • Loading and unloading trucks of cattle.  Technically, he watches Dad do it. 
  • Riding 4 wheelers with the men around the pens and yard. 
  • Wearing his boots the majority of his waking hours.  We have impeccable fashion sense and therefore wear boots with our pajamas, boots with sweatpants and, of course, boots with jeans. 
  • Loopie and Laurie.  It has been deathly cold outside for nearly a week and therefore the girls get to sleep in the utility room at night instead of in the shop.  Kenyon chases them around the house endlessly and pets them whether they like it or not.  Last night, Loopie sat at the back door and begged to go back outside into the cold rather than have to tolerate a toddler any longer.  I was mean and made her stay in the 67 degree house and be forced to sit still while Kenyon hugged her and tried to ride her.  The audacity, I know.  
  • Anything and everything that his dad does.  His father seems to walk on water, unlike his mother, and everything he touches turns to gold.  (This one seems to be a double-edged sword.  While it hurts my feelings that he can so easily dispose of me in the evenings, it also means I finally get some quiet time by myself.)  
  • Dancing to any sort of music is an absolute for him these days.  This morning, Kenyon walked into the kitchen, grabbed my hand and led me into the living room.  He pressed the button on one of his musical toys and we had an impromptu dance party for a few minutes.  Thank goodness I was smiling and laughing so hard having a great time.  If not, I would have undoubtedly starting crying over this heartwarming moment.  Dang it, I made myself cry just thinking about it.  Sigh..... hormones.  

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Sanity Check

Yesterday we played outside most all day, and thank goodness.  I wish we could have bottled up all that sunshiny goodness and saved some for today.  Yes, the sun is shining today, but it is also 11 degrees out.  Seriously.  It's been 18 hours and Kenyon and I are going stir crazy.  He seems to be testing my patience today and pointing out every single no-no in the house.  As in, he's touching and playing with every single no-no, just so I know that he knows, ya' know?  So far today we've tried to stick our hands in surge protectors, played with toilet paper, stuck our hands in the toilet.... the list goes on and on.  Thank goodness it is so cold that Wes doesn't want to do much either and is actually spending more than 15 minutes in the house during daylight hours.  This. Never. Happens.

I can now hear the two of them playing together very nicely in the living room.  When Wes walked in the house I think he could tell that I had almost hit my limit.  He carefully gathered up Kenyon and muttered something about 'get you away from your mom before she sticks you in the oven' and gave me some much-appreciated alone time.

By now you may be asking yourself, "Is there a point to this blog post?"  Absolutely not.  As long as I sit here at the computer and look busy the two of them leave me alone.  Wesley occasionally glances over my direction to make sure I don't have smoke pouring out of my ears, but as long as these little keys keep clicking away, I am safe and ALONE.  Did I mention that I am currently being left ALONE?  It is magnificent.

Fun and games till someone gets smacked in the head with a tractor.  Fun time is done.  Over and out.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

A List of Resolutions

They say if you write down your New Year's Resolutions that you're more likely to follow through with them.  In that case.....

  • More homemade gifts and less things from the store for folks.  (Sorry, your presents may look not-so-cool, but they will be filled with way-more-love.)  
  • On the same thought line, I want to do more spontaneous, sweet things for folks.  I think Kenyon can definitely help me on this one.  Making cookies and taking them to neighbors for no particular reason.  Picking flowers for folks.  Growing something obnoxious like cucumbers and bombarding anyone and everyone with them.  
  • Become more organized.  Believe it or not, I make great strides on this one every year.  The initial bar was set so low, though, that I'm still not even close to normal-functioning-citizen status.  Just ask our tax accountant.  
  • Eat healthier and exercise more.  Or at least exercise more.  Or some.  Yes, that's it.  Exercise some.  I can do that. 
  • Be involved in fewer man hunts.  This is one I can't control but nevertheless, I would like to be involved in fewer of them in the next 12 months.  Someday this will be a long blog post itself, but not today.  Still a little too recent to want to relive.  (Sidenote: Hug your local law enforcement, or at least wave and smile at them.  They walk through woods at in the middle of the night when it is 8 degrees out to find bad guys and keep you safe.)  
  • Be a little bit more adventurous.  As an introvert, I am quite content to stay home all day, every day and entertain myself with DIY projects.  As Kenyon gets older I want to allow him the opportunity to see and explore new things.  
  • Be a better wife.  I read an article the other day that said it was easier to be a great mom than a great wife because you always, unconditionally love your children but a good marriage takes tons of work.  There have been too many days this past year where I wanted to throttle my husband.  This needs to change and it begins with me.  
  • Start being one of those 'complete' people.  Yeah, I know that they don't exist, but it's something to strive for.  More made-from-scratch meals, laundry folded neatly, grass mowed semi-often, clean children, the whole nine yards.  Well, minus the clean children part.  I'm excited for warmer weather and playing outside with Kenyon.  I anticipate needing to power wash him more than once in the next 12 months.  
Okay, folks.  Here goes nothing! 

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Obligatory Adorable Snow Photos

Don't even bother looking at Kenyon anymore - I didn't.  Click to enlarge and watch the ensuing dog wrestling match.  

Even K caught on that he was no longer the center of attention.

Did you know birth order is true in dogs?  Case in point: Eldest, Loopie, walks perfectly in the tracks.

Laurie, number two, blazes her own trail.