New Sewing Machines!

I love woodworking and especially refinishing old furniture.  Its very tactile.  The progression, the change and the results are very visible.  It is a great way for me to relieve stress.  That, and I get to play with power tools.  Its something that I absolutely love. 

My dad went to an auction recently and bought several large, crucial woodworking tools for me.  Enough to fill an entire two-wheeled trailer.  Mom and Dad brought them up to me a few weekends ago.  As we were unloading them I may have perhaps acted a bit giddy.  Walking on sunshine.  On cloud nine.  My mom just couldn't understand it and voiced her concerns. 

I believe it was my dad who finally said, "Pretend they're like sewing machines."  This immediately changed her tune. 

"Oooooooh!  You got new toys!" she cried.

Not even close, Mom.  Way cooler.  But thanks for trying. 

Reality Check

I have this image in my mind of the perfect yard, somewhat of a cross between the Ponderosa on "Bonanza" and the yard on "The Brady Bunch" (even if that was astro-turf).  I'd love it if my yard could rank among these, expertly landscaped and beautifully manicured.

I've even worked out some rough sketches of how and where I'd like to create some lovely rock-gardeny type spots in our yard next to the road.  I can see it now.  Some taller sunflowers in the back, maybe some hollyhocks scattered in too.  Perhaps on the left hand side there would be a tall rock with our brand on it.  Lower down I'd have wildflowers scattered around in and amongst the rocks, and at the very bottom I'd have sweet potato vines that cascaded over the small, 6-inch tall rock retaining wall.  Sounds lovely, right?

Lets review.

In the past twelve months......

*A cattle truck has backed the entire length of the truck and trailer along my mailbox, scratching the rig and swiveling my mailbox.

*A hired man has backed into my mailbox, and now you have to reach waaaaaaay out of your vehicle window to grab the mail.

* Cattle trucks drive through my yard and driveway to turn around and back into the pens to load cattle.

* Pickups and trailers get parked across my entire yard to create 'wings' and temporary fencing strategies for keeping cattle out of my yard when we're driving them.

* Horses run through my yard during shipping season more than grasshoppers do the entire rest of the year.

* There are enough bones in my yard to re-assemble several sorts of Frankenstein-type calves.

* .....Annnnnnnnnd finally, this morning when calves were shipped from our place and for the third time this season I had two hundred or so calves running through my yard, I finally conceded that perhaps I should give up my dream of ever having a nice yard, complete with an attractive, functioning mailbox, astro-turf and all... Sigh....

Horses in Heaven

I have a buddy, Cash, who is six years old and after Friday's events I think that he's got everything in life pretty well figured out.  Better than myself at least. 

Cash walked up to my desk and got a piece of candy (yeah, I got a J-O-B, but more on that another day). 

Me: Hey, Cash-man, what have you been up to today?

Cash: Eh, not much.  My grandma died today. 

Okay, think about a low-key way to talk through this so he doesn't start crying.

Me: I heard, Bud, and I'm really sorry.  But think about it - your Grandma gets to hang out in heaven now and that's pretty cool, right?

Cash: Yeah, and she's not hurting anymore.  That's cool too. 

Okay, maybe I'm going to be the one that starts to bawl like a baby.

Me: Hey, Cash, I've got a grandma in heaven too.  Do you think that maybe your grandma and one of my grandmas is up there, hanging out and playing and just having a big ol' party?

Cash: Yeah, probably so.  And my dad's got a horse up there too, so they're probably riding too. 

....And cue the waterworks.



Did I mention that Cash is a pretty cool kid?  And, for the record, my dad's got some horses up there too.

Real Housewives of Greenwood County Episode #468

This episode features a montage highlighting the wonderful, romantic relationship that exists between a rancher and his wife.

*Wes waits till mid-July, mid-afternoon to finish clipping some fence.  Watch as he drops Anna off in the middle of nowhere with a half empty bottle of water, a 5 gallon bucket of clips and a pair of pliers.  Watch her scream obscenities as he drives away and tells her not to come home till she's completely done.

*In the middle of winter, Wes sits in his warm and cozy feed pickup and drives through a pasture at a slow crawl through the snow and sleet.  Where is Anna?  She's outside of the pickup on the very top of a stack of small square-bales of hay on the bed of the pickup.  She cuts the strings and flakes out each bale to the hungry cows.  When she is all done, watch as she yells around the cake feeder to the cab of the pickup, asking Wes to stop and let her in the warm cab.  Watch as that doesn't grab his attention and she beats on the metal cake feeder instead.  When that doesn't get a response from him either, watch her jump off the bed and begin to run next to the passenger window and beat on it, pleading with her husband to let her in the warm cab.  Wes finally gets off the phone, turns to the window and sees through the sleet on the window that a shadowy figure is jumping/running next to his feed pickup.  When he finally stops and allows his beloved to enter the pickup he simply states, "Well, why didn't you just say something?"  Watch as an exasperated Anna tries to flail her frozen arms at him. 


Someday soon we'll try to have this episode out on DVD for your viewing pleasure - don't miss it!