My husband is like a human calculator. This comes in really handy sometimes. Say, like when you're trying to figure up the cost of a calf that weighs 423 pounds and brought $1.35/lb at the sale barn. In the time that it takes you to punch that into a calculator he would have already figured it up and be waiting impatiently for you to confirm his answer. This is also handy when trying to figure out chemical spray amounts, rate of gain on weaning calves, miles to the gallon, etc., but not so handy when talking about your wife.
Example:
Last night we were enjoying the peace and quiet of the evening when the wheels began to spin in W's mind and he shared his thoughts with me.
"You weigh ____ pounds. This kids will be roughly 8 pounds. That's only 4% of your body weight. Now take a cow. She weighs 1200 pounds and she'll have an 80 pound calf. That's 6.6, or nearly 7%, of her body weight. I really don't understand why you're complaining."
If I could have mooooooooo-ved, (yes that's right. Corny cow joke.) out of my rocking chair I would have attempted to maul him with throw pillows. Safe bet, we'll have no more mental math that involves me any time soon.
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Just like mama said... If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.