Mommy Wars

Bear with me, I'm on a bit of a soapbox today.  This has been eating on me for weeks; no, months and I haven't been able to get it completely out of my mind.  Also, I must apologize in advance.  I do my best writing on the lawnmower, tractor, pickup.... pretty much anywhere that is not close to a computer or writing utensil.  This sounded much more eloquent 2 hours ago when I was outside picking produce from the garden.

My husband and I did not make the decision that I would stay home on a whim.  This was something that I agonized over for several weeks and months, both before and after the baby was born.  I would be 100% certain that I had made up my mind and then find myself questioning everything hours later.  I made lists of pros and cons regarding both options.  I asked for advice and opinions from trusted sources.  I even asked for advice and opinions from total crazies, just to see what their outlook might be and gain a different perspective.  I just cannot reiterate it enough.  I TRIED.  We did not flip a coin and figure that was good enough.

99% of people supported my decision.  That does not mean that they agreed with my decision, and I'm okay with that.  99% of people said "good luck" or "you've lost your mind, but good luck".  I even had one of my best friends tell me that she didn't think it was a great idea and that if she stayed home she'd be too bored.  I can respect that sort of blunt and straightforward statement, and my answer to her was that this new job would be like any other.

This job of motherhood is as much as you want to make it.  I can sit on my derriere all day (typing away on a blog) or I can take my child on long walks down dirt roads and show him the finer things in life.  I can grow and garden and can produce and work alongside my husband and involve myself in wonderful activities outside the home as well.  Women with town jobs can do those things too, and by golly I can say I've been there and done that.

My plea to others is to think about what you say long and hard before it comes out of your mouth in regards to motherhood choices.  I admit, I am the queen of hypocrisy in this regard as I have a bad habit of opening my mouth and inserting my foot.  Please, though, work with me as we all become more understanding, more tolerant, or simply less of an asshole when it comes to the mommy war.

If nothing else, when someone tells you that they are leaving the outside workforce to become a stay-at-home mom, please refrain from stating "I just wanted to let you know that it IS possible to have a career and raise children, dear."  To which I outwardly politely smiled as I screamed back in my head, "I just wanted to let you know that it IS possible to walk on the moon, but I haven't seen your ass up there, Neil."  (I did warn you that I was queen of sticking my foot in my mouth at times.  Only screaming this in my head was a major sign of growth for me.)

Let's all keep the bigger picture in mind.  We have been given a gift from God and we need to make the most of this opportunity.  For some, that is staying home.  For some, that is keepin' on in the workforce.  As long as we create great kids that help the world in their own little way, both ways should be acceptable.  I'll keep saying toe-MAY-toe, you keep saying toe-MAH-toe and the world will still keep spinning.