Does anyone else like to hunt coyotes in their bathrobe? No?..... Just me?...... Hmmm. I figured there might be more takers. Let me explain...
Our dogs are not the tiny, whiny, town breed of dogs that bark at every trivial whim. When they bark it means something evil is lurking in the very near vicinity. This morning I stepped out of the shower shortly after six, put on my bathrobe, combed my hair, brushed my teeth, etc. And then I heard it.
The bark.
Loopie and Laurie have this deep, growly, I-wish-I-could-get-out-of-my-nighttime-pen-and-rip-you-to-shreds bark. (I have always wondered if its just for show, or if they would really do it...) Coyotes have been coming closer and closer to our home lately, and so I knew immediately what was up. I rushed across the bedroom to look out the window and see what direction the little girls were staring at. I then reached for my gun that I had strategically placed next to my dresser the night before, grabbed a handful of bullets to shove into my bathrobe and slipped on my neon orange house shoes (don't laugh, they were free). I oh-so-carefully snuck out the utility room door and slipped around the side of the house. The little girls saw me and immediately stopped barking. (I think they were excited to see the show that was about to happen.) The coyote was a long ways away, I took aim and fired. I grazed the top of his back (my bullet didn't drop as much as I had anticipated) but he took off like a shot.
After much reflection today, I have now come up with an alternative hunting plan. I need a way to lure the coyotes in closer. As it just so happens, Wesley's grandma lives across the road and about 50 yards south of our house. I think I'm going to get her some coyote calls as a gift and teach her how to use them. She can call them towards her house and as they run through my front yard I'll have a perfect opportunity to wax them! I ran my plan by our pastor this morning when I happened to see her out and about at the sale barn. She laughed, shook her head and said something to the effect of "Oh my child..." which I think is the equivalent of a "Bless your heart" in the south. When I ran my plan by my mother-in-law she just raised her eyebrows and said, "Wes, you've got quite a woman there...". I know she likes me. Well, I think she likes me. Hmmm. I hope she likes me...
Stayed tuned for future coyote hunting chronicles!
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Just like mama said... If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.