Top Ten Ways to Predict Gender

Here is my super-duper accurate list of ways that I am absolutely, positively, without a doubt certain that we are, in fact, most definitely, assuredly guaranteed to have a BOY:

1. I have experienced months of extreme sickness with this child.
2. I carried 'high' for several months, followed by two months of carrying extremely 'low'.  
3. My belly button has never completely 'popped'.  
4. Kenyon tells me that this is the gender.
5. Every little kid under five tells me this is the gender.
6. This is what Grandma Curry predicted.
7. A random test on the internet told me so.
8. I am guaranteed to have this gender of baby due to the sign of the moon when Jupiter and Mars were aligned on the anniversary of the eight phase of the lunar calendar.  (Honestly, I made most of this one up.  The lady that started to rattle this tale off to me scared the bejesus out of me and I spent most of the time she was talking saying silent prayers in my head.)  
9. I have experienced contractions off and on for over three months now.  "Braxton-Hicks?" you ask.  No.  Like 'grip-your-husband's-arm-and-cry-and-breathe-hard-for-the-next-45-seconds-type contractions.
10. Because I just have a 'gut-feeling'.

Here is my super-duper accurate list of ways that I am absolutely, positively, without a doubt certain that we are, in fact, most definitely, assuredly guaranteed to have a GIRL:

1. I have experienced months of extreme sickness with this child.
2. I carried 'high' for several months, followed by two months of carrying extremely 'low'.  
3. My belly button has never completely 'popped'.  
4. Kenyon tells me that this is the gender.
5. Every little kid under five tells me this is the gender.
6. This is what Grandma Curry predicted.
7. A random test on the internet told me so.
8. I am guaranteed to have this gender of baby due to the sign of the moon when Jupiter and Mars were aligned on the anniversary of the eight phase of the lunar calendar.  (Honestly, I made most of this one up.  The lady that started to rattle this tale off to me scared the bejesus out of me and I spent most of the time she was talking saying silent prayers in my head.)  
9. I have experienced contractions off and on for over three months now.  "Braxton-Hicks?" you ask.  No.  Like 'grip-your-husband's-arm-and-cry-and-breathe-hard-for-the-next-45-seconds-type contractions.
10. Because I just have a 'gut-feeling'.