Teeny, Tiny People

When the babies were little, they were constantly attached to me.  I was often holding them on my hip or chest so they were RIGHTINMYFACE and BREATHINGMYAIR most all day, every day.  Which is the wonderful part about having babies, don't get me wrong.  Even for their small size, they were huge in my eyes due to their proximity. 

Now the babies are getting older and.... smaller.  They no longer breathe my air.  The are rarely right in my face, unless they are showing me the latest bump, scrape, bruise, turtle, blackbird or the like to impress me.  These days I mostly see them from a distance, which is becoming increasingly alright with me.  A friend told me once that raising kiddos never gets easier, it just gets different.  Each day I am becoming more aware of just what he meant.  

See what I mean?  I wasn't joking.  Blackbird.  In my face.  He was so proud of himself for catching it.  Still not sure how he managed that one. 

We spent a few days last week hauling hay.  Kenyon LOVES to drive the pickup and flipper trailer through the fields so I can load him with the tractor.  Once I get him loaded he dutifully slides over and lets me drive down the road to the hay yard to unload.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  Load after load. 

Not only can he do the manly chores like haul hay, but he's great at walking home to make sandwiches for everyone as well!  He really wanted to keep loading hay while I went home to make sandwiches, but he definitely lost that argument. 

We had to wait nearly 10 minutes for the men to switch fields and bring us a tractor, which is approximately 10,000 eternities in young man years.  He sat on the tail end of the flipper trailer and nearly died of boredom.  

"Seriously, Mom.  I think they forgot about us.  There is no way it should be taking this long.  We should just go find them."

I love picking up these tiny hitchhikers I find alongside the road.  All the kids love to take turns riding in the swather and baler with their grandpa and dad.  After spending many long hours bouncing around in the cab I drive to the appropriate middle-of-nowhere location and find the tiny dot standing at the side of a field that is hopefully my child. 

I loved stumbling upon this scene a few days ago.  The kids found the best vantage point (the top of the ground load trailer) and watched their dad go back and forth with the tractor and baler.  I believe if you click on the individual photos you can enlarge them.

Nearly every Saturday morning while the rest of the world is watching cartoons, we have our kiddos out working a load of calves that arrive to our place the night before.  I run one side of the chute- giving shots, worming and putting in ear tags while my husband works the other side.  He runs the hydraulics of the chute to catch each calf, gives other shots and implants as well as brands each calf with a hot iron.  We both keep an eye on the kiddos as they push calves up the alleyway or simply see how much dirt they can possibly cover themselves in.  Not to brag or anything, but they could earn a gold medal in the filthy kid category.  Hands down.  

The boys have to practice their penmanship skills when they number all the ear tags and vials for BVD testing that I then run in the afternoons.  

This new, different chapter is difficult for me to process at times but I'm slowly adapting.  I never dreamed it would be this enjoyable to watch the children grow bigger physically but become teeny-tiny in my eyes as they become more independent. 

Sometimes

Sometimes, well, all the time, I worry about our children.  I think that's normal for most parents, of course.  We lie awake at night and strategize about what went wrong, what went right and what we need to do better the next day.  My husband and I often remind ourselves that our mission is to make good kiddos right now because 'it's easier to raise a good kid than to fix a broken adult'.  Amen.  This is no lie.  Cannot stress this shit enough.  

We have unique concerns about each of ours, but then sometimes I'm reminded that maybe they'll be okay (at least for the near future).  

Kiddo #1: 

He used to make such sweeping generalizations that drove us absolutely insane. 

    Everyone does it.  It's always like that.  This always happens every time.

Now I often feel as if we live with a lawyer.  

    Mom, I hate to tell you but technically, that's not correct.  Not EVERYONE actually does that.  

I secretly love it when he corrects me like this.  It gives me hope for the future.  

Kiddo #2:

We ask him questions that make him utilize his mental math skills and he struggles.  

    And then we ask him to play blackjack and suddenly he knows his mental math like a genius. 

Kiddo #3: 

She likes pink.  She has beautiful blonde hair.  When asked a hard question she tends to giggle and deflect with her good looks.  We worry about her becoming a superficial girl that uses her good looks to gain attention and not put in actual work.  

    Last week I was standing at the sink washing dishes and gazing out at the yard and pasture.  I noticed out of the corner of my eye a small blonde child bouncing down the middle of the road.  I could see that she was lugging something along but couldn't tell exactly what it was.  As she got closer and started to march through the yard I could finally tell what it was.  She had a fresh, bloody deer leg slung over her shoulder that she had found and was dragging home for the dogs to snack on.  Kind to her animals and a country kid okay with blood.  We breathed a sigh of relief.  

Kiddo #4:

    We simply worry about her.  She's the last child and at this moment is very advanced for her age in the language department.  We carry on long, full conversations with deep meaning versus simple yes/no questions.  We've made the mistake of carrying on adult conversations in front of her more than once, thinking we were in the clear only to find out hours later that she absorbed every. single. word.  Sigh. 

Pray for us and prayers that we raise good kiddos! 

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Our children certainly have their own little personalities and many of their statements make this blatantly obvious.  

*****

Kenyon (eight years old) is very analytical and math minded.  Anything worth doing is worth doing correctly, even if it is during playtime.  More than once I've caught him diving across the living room to tackle his brother because his toy trailer was not loaded correctly.  

"I told you to load six head in the nose!  WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!"

"So you say I can only have two donuts for breakfast, eh, Mom?  That's still fourteen donuts a week.  I can live with that." 

*****

And then there's John, age six.  He's sneakier than most and he has a quiet vindictiveness that may take him places (but hopefully not jail).  And we've firmly established that his predilection for retaliation means he should, at this point in life, not be in a leadership position.  

He and Kenyon were hauling cattle throughout the house one evening and had been arguing a bit more than normal.  Kenyon drove cleeeeeeeeear into the kitchen and then hollered across the house.  "John - I just drove clear to North Carolina and you mean to tell me there's no load of cattle here???  Are you kidding me?  Why did you do that?"

John continued to drive his pickup and trailer throughout the living room and haul cattle much closer to the pens.  Without looking up, he never missed a beat when he calmly replied and smirked, "Because you made me so mad." 

*****

Kathryn, four years old, is super sweet (most of the time) and her strong faith will hopefully help lead the rest of her siblings down the straight and narrow as they grow up.  She has a mind like a steel trap and will recall minute details from the past three years of her life at the drop of a hat and then become exasperated when I can't recall the same moment in time.  She talks about heaven allllll the time and while some might think it is a bit morbid to be so obsessed with death I find it rather comforting that she's very confident in her eternal home and anxious to get there someday.  

"Hey, Momma, do you think Penny the cat will die this winter???  How cool would that be?  Then she can go to heaven and she and Grandma Curry can be a family again!"  

"Momma, I'm kinda excited to go to heaven.  Then I can have my piano lessons and sing songs with Grandma Curry again."

"Momma, is my heart prepared?"  I frantically searched my memory for any conversation in the past year she may have been privy to for the word 'prepared' and finally recalled the children's message at church a few weeks ago.  "Do you mean is your heart prepared for Jesus and the Christmas season?  Yes, kiddo, I think you're prepared."

*****

And then there's Reese, at one and three quarters years of age.  She's absorbed everything from her older siblings (for better or worse) and is sharp as a tack.  She says several words and is putting small phrases together like I found it!, Where he go?, and I don't know.  

My hands down favorite, however; is when she does something naughty and I ask her if she needs a swat.  Without fail her eyes will become wide, she will shake her head no vigorously and adamantly proclaim "Good girl, Momma.  Good girl!"

Seven

Sometimes we forget he's only seven.  

He's gotten up at 5:30am multiple times this week to ship cattle.  I often ask him to babysit his three siblings while I mow, or run to the field, to deliver lab supplies or a whole host of other things.  

He has his own pocket knife to cut hay bale strings.  (I, too, thought this was a bit much when our neighbor gave their son a pocket knife at a young age, but now I totally agree with them.)  

He enjoys taking photos with a 'fancy' camera.  After a brief tutorial he was cropping and editing photos like a pro ('pro' meaning poor misguided housewife that taught him).  

One of his first female loves will undoubtedly be his heifer.  He does a good job for his size and age at handling her.  I enjoy watching their bond.  He teared up just a bit this morning when we discussed turning her out to pasture after the fair. 

He's a good role model for his siblings..... most of the time.  They enjoy going to 4-H meetings as well and are chomping at the bit to get their 4-H careers started as well. 

He is a creature enthusiast and can provide some sort of fun fact for many different creatures.  (Major shout out to the nature show Wild Kratts on PBS.) 

He's beyond excited about his projects for the fair (as am I).  I cannot tell you how many times I've openly bawled this week when he told me 'Mom, I've got it.' 

His western wear outfit melted my heart. 

There are a whole host of things that make me forget he's only seven.  Which often seems silly because so many of his friends are country kids as well and they are held to the same unusual set of expectations.  It is so terribly cliché, but I remember just yesterday when we had him.  We finally were wheeled back into our suite around 3am and the nurses helped us get settled in.  The sweet woman swaddled Kenyon, laid him into his bassinet and then smiled as she said goodbye, shut our door and headed back down to her station.  Wes and I stared at each other with terror in our eyes because neither one of us knew anything about birthin' babies. 

And here we are, seven years later.  We know quite a bit more about babies and we're all learning to roll with the punches as this oldest child grows up.  It's been quite an adventure and we're excited to see what the future has in store. 

The Sweetest Thank You

I believe thank you's are a forgotten art.  The act of acknowledging a kind act that another human has undertaken on behalf of you.

This is an odd story.  I sometimes post agriculture and nature photos on an open Facebook page where anyone in the world can see them.  I had a sweet, random request one day from a lady asking if she could please pay for my photo.  I'm no professional so I didn't feel like I could charge anything and was just delighted to share.   I sent her the original file of my photo and thought no more of it.  Following this, she and I struck up a friendship of sorts online.  She asked one day for my address.

... Isn't that how every 20/20 or Dateline episode ever starts???  'I loved your photo that I turned into a large canvas in my office.  Can I please have your address to thank you?'

But I did a quick risk assessment and decided she was rather harmless and sent her my address.  I am so very glad I did.  

This sweet lady, Miss Nancy, sent me a small canvas of my original photo.  I am continually flabbergasted every time I walk past it.  Not by the photography skills; rather, I am rendered speechless by how amazing some humans can be.  

We have several folks a year that need to borrow our dump truck to haul dirt for their yards and gardens and 90% of them are so awesome in repaying the favor with cookies, supper, garden produce, anything.  It warms our heart to help friends that are so anxious to express thanks.  I love that there is an unspoken rule about repaying favors in kind.  The barter system in our area is second to none.  

I didn't expect more than a note from this Miss Nancy.  Why would I?  I didn't have to exert my effort to provide her with my original photo.  

When a package arrived from her last week I was immediately moved to tears.  She sent me a tiny canvas of my original photo.  

Miss Nancy helped reaffirm our faith in humankind and remind us that most folks are good people.  Most folks want to give thanks for the things they have received in life.  

I know that this photo is not the best thing ever.  Not even close.  I am honored that she felt it was meaningful to her and asked to reproduce it.  I am even more touched that she sent such a thoughtful thank you gift to me that I'll keep forever. 

I know that my kids and I have not written nearly enough thank you notes to loved ones, but we a slowly but surely trying to improve this.  And the great news is that loved ones have given us unlimited opportunities.  This gift served as a wonderful reminder that we must continually give thanks.  

So tonight we received great pictures of our oldest son playing ball.  Kenyon looked through the photos and immediately asked if we could send a message to say thanks to the nice lady.  That made my heart warm.  I hope my kiddos keep remembering to give thanks for the wonderful folks in their lives.  

There Goes the Neighborhood

Imagine being a good farm wife and having a perfect little tidy farmhouse in the middle of nowhere and enjoying quiet evenings with cattle bawling and occasionally the hum of a tractor working ground in the distance.  

Then imagine a couple, her grandson and new wife, building a house just down the road and upending everything.  Great grandchild after great grandchild after great grandchild after great grandchild being born and learning to adjust over the years to a steady stream of curious, filthy and often hungry neighbors landing on your porch any time between sunrise and sunset.  

I will miss the way morning chores that should have taken 30 minutes turned into hours as 'Can we just stop by Grandma Curry's?' each day.  I will miss the phone calls each evening 'Well, what do you know, dear?' .

I will miss some of those ridiculous things that once made me want to tear my hair out, like when she taught Kathryn that bonks and scrapes on her body would feel better if you rubbed Suave's wild cherry blossom scented lotion on them.  Kathryn would come inside from playing and absolutely REEK of the wild cherry blossom scent.  'Momma, I got a little bonk.  But it's okay because Grandma Curry put some medicine on it.' 

I will miss how each time I made cookies, or cheesy biscuits, or a host of other things the kids would fight over who got to carry the container over and who got to knock on the door and who got to actually hand the container to her.  Like mobsters, we felt obligated to give a cut of our sweets as tribute to our elders.  

I will miss her quizzing the kids about their livestock and listening to them answer her like the little 70 year old men that they are.  

I will miss dragging her out of the house and taking drives on backroads, listening to the stories of who used to live at each old homestead and who that person married and just how good of a basketball player their son was. 

I will miss hearing the same old stories that I've heard hundreds of times.  Thankfully I can almost recite most of them from memory at this point.  Ask me about the time Stanley had a procedure done and the doctor told him to take it easy so he went out on the dozer to do some dirt work and didn't come home until after dark.  Do it, I dare ya'.  I'll tell it to you just like I was there, because I've lived similar stories right alongside her, just 60 years apart.  I couldn't hardly tell her a story about my husband without watching her throw her hands up in the air and roll her eyes stating 'oh, yes, I know all about that.  Stanley used to be just like that, dear'. 

I now tear up each time I open the refrigerator and a cascade of these damn juice boxes she had delivered from the senior center come tumbling out.  I don't know what she really ate from those senior center meals because she was always calling to warn me 'I just sent home a little something with the kids, dear'.

I won't try to flatter myself and say we were best friends; she had a lady or two in town and they truly were joined at the hip most of their lives.  But I will miss my battle buddy, my comrade-in-arms, my confidant for over a decade that knew the sheer hell it can be at times to love a stubborn ass Curry man.  

I'm thankful our children had a home away from home and someone to dote on them when their mother didn't take their injuries or injustices seriously enough.  

And I'm most thankful we never said goodbye.  Every conversation ended with 'Well, talk to you tomorrow' or 'see you later'.  So when things were going downhill and she was leaving our house I made sure to tell her one last time we'll see you later. 

Trivial but Necessary: An Autobiography

So many of the tasks I complete these days are... less than glamorous?  Menial?  Pretty basic?  Any of these descriptions would suffice.  Let's be honest, I'm not out here curing cancer.  I'm a professional diaper changer and fire-putter-outer for my husband. 

For instance, this morning I had to drop everything and run out the door with all the kids so I could drive my SUV and lead trucks filled with cattle to their summer pasture.  It's way out in the middle of nowhere and difficult to give directions to someone in hopes that they'll end up at the right pasture.  'Turn at the tree that burned down a few years ago.'  'Go past that pasture with the pens and turn west at the next pasture with a similar set of pens.' 

You can see how things could south rather quickly.  Sometimes I actually get my own pickup and trailer.  Today was not that day. 

I'm trying to get better at finding the joy in this season of life.  Today I grabbed my camera and managed to snap a few pics.  We are very fortunate to live in this area and that is never lost on us.  

Fishing Lessons, Life Lessons

We had friends over to play a few days ago and the mother mentioned how impressed she was with our kids and the way they seemed pretty self sufficient with their chores.  Although I gave her the full disclosure that things didn't always run so smoothly, I did puff up a little bit with pride.  We have seen, and continue to see, the ill effects of standing around and constantly asking for a handout and we try very hard to make sure our kiddos *hopefully* won't be that soul sucking drain on everyone around them.  

4-H has been a wonderful addition to our family activities, as well as our church bible study group where the kids play and help out.  It is amazing how much the kids are able to absorb big picture concepts and how important it is to give their time and talents to others.  They are 'learning to fish' so to speak.  (You know.... teach a man to fish... nod in agreement, folks.)  

This year's Easter egg hunt in town meant more to them because they helped stuff some of the eggs and they are so excited to do it again next year.  They enjoyed seeing their friends open eggs to find candy and thinking that it was an egg they had stuffed just for their friend to find.  

Our latest project has been building a bench for an upcoming benefit auction.  Though the kids are too little to run a saw, they are wonderful at handing me hand tools and screws.  They are just as excited as I am to deliver this bench and pray it raises needed funds for a family.  

While building this bench last week, John (5), and I had the opportunity to cuss and discuss lots of topics.  He knows the importance of saving money and how much we value coupons in this house and was surprised when I told him all that goes out the window during a benefit auction.  He now understands that it is okay to spend a little more because all the money will help someone that we love.  We talked about making this bench and how the funds will help our buddy, Alex, who was in a terrible vehicle wreck and maybe this would help make his heart happier.  I could tell that John was absorbing some and we continued working in relative silence for the remainder of the afternoon. 

A few hours later John came in the house and asked for some cardboard to make a bird feeder.  I'm pretty sure he'd seen a demonstration during a PBS commercial about making a bird feeder with cardboard, peanut butter and birdseed a few days earlier.  

"Mom - we can make a bird feeder and then send it to Alex and the doctors can hang it up outside the window in his hospital room and he can look at the birds.  Do you think that would make his heart happy?"  

I cried.  A lot.  Big, fat, ugly tears.  99% of the time I question if we're getting anything right with this tribe but that was one time I knew God made sure he absorbed it all and had a servant's heart.  

***And here is my shameless plug.  If you are in the greater east-central Kansas area on Sunday, April 11th, please make plans to eat at the Chicken House in Olpe and participate in the benefit auction at 1 p.m.  Thank you***

Luckiest Boy in the Whole World

We try fairly hard to keep our kiddos grounded, with varying degrees of success at times.  But lately I've been super impressed with kid #2, John.  

He had a special afternoon with his dad this week and was lucky enough to sit in the salebarn for hours on end with no toys, save for the pen and salebarn card that his dad gave him.  John came home that evening, proudly showed his wares to us all and proclaimed time and time again "I'm the luckiest boy in the world!". 

He found an old horseshoe at the barn yesterday.  He beamed from ear to ear as he carried it back to the house, all the while proclaiming "I'm the luckiest boy in the whole world!".

This morning I unpacked my lab supplies from two large cardboard boxes.  John's eyes sparkled when I agreed to let him have them.  He instantly turned to his sister, "Can you believe it, Kathryn?  I'm the luckiest boy in the world!".  They've now been playing together contently outside in 45 degree weather for the past hour and I have no idea how I'll ever tear them away from their box fort in the yard to make them eat lunch.  

We definitely have terrible, trying days in this family, but at this very moment I feel like the luckiest mom in the world.  

Little Hands

It seems as if there is always something amiss around here.  Currently we have a bucket calf that keeps bloating up.  He was sick approximately 10 days ago and my husband doctored him.  The medicines he administered also did a number on the microbes in this calf's rumen.  When the microbes aren't working on digesting food properly, bloat can occur.  

But that's neither here nor there.  Long story short, we have a calf that we have to 'air out' often.  And yes, I made that term up.  Getting a three year old to properly say 'debloat' is difficult, so we just say what we want.  It's how we roll around here.  

When we told the kids to run the calf into the chute they knew just what to do.  They set gates just right, helped make a wing, blocked holes where there was no fence so the calf couldn't run off.  I was proud of them for being such good little hands.  Make no mistake, it makes for a crazy, intense, chaotic, near sh!t show of a time, but each time they get the job done.  

I don't want to brag on them too much, as there are still tons of things they do (or DON'T do) every day that make me pull my hair out.  But I do love that these kiddos have a passion for their animals and mimic how they see the guys around here act.  

One night when the kids and I were done with the calf I looked up to see this sunset.  We were all muddy messes, I did not have supper ready, the baby needed fed and had been sitting rather patiently in her carseat for 30 minutes.... I could go on and on about the crazy things that were making me frazzled that evening, but this sunset helped calm all of that.  I think the world needs to just take a time out and look at a few more sunsets like this, right? 

 

Watering Flowers

Spoiler alert: There probably won't be a single picture of flowers in this post.  

I read a devotional some time back and it talked about how folks spend too much time watering the (figurative) weeds in their life.  It really stuck with me and this year has been a great opportunity to weed out things that aren't so healthy and water the things that matter.  

Now, please don't take this to mean I'm suddenly an advocate for more 'me time' in the world.  I'm not.  Living a God filled life doesn't mean making yourself the biggest priority, but I think living a more God filled life does call for tuning out more of the noise and watering the things that bring you closer to Him.  

In keeping with this theme, we've scaled back on many obligations (also due to covid) but in the meantime we've focused on some pretty cool things.  Our neighbor drove by last night and absolutely hit the nail on the head.  "Mom. Dad. All the kids.  Whole family's together, must be working on a 4-H project!"  He was right.  Kenyon has a heifer to show and he's pretty serious about it.  Actually, he's pretty serious about most things in life.  I really appreciate that about him.  He thinks like, and talks like, a 70 year old man most of the time.  He gives directions to the substitute bus drivers using directions like 'east' and 'west' and uses them correctly.  He likes to talk about cattle and crops and what the forecast for the week is.  He told me the other night that he couldn't wait to grow up and be a hard worker every day just like his dad.  He's a cool kid that has a lot of priorities right we feel.  We pray that he doesn't lose sight of them.  

He's assigned a book to read every evening and the two middles enjoy listening to him.

John still absolutely loves Reese and considers her to be his baby.  Her happiness is his greatest joy in life.  He takes after me in that he considers Halloween to be rather ridiculous and he was dead set against dressing up.  I finally convinced him to wear his nice church clothes and pretend he was a presidential candidate.  He went to three grandparents' homes and said "Vote for me" and called it good.  

Vote for me!

Kathryn is at such a fun age right now.  Her sentences are getting longer each day and she loves to attempt big words.  I like it that she's learning reasoning skills and starting to put together bigger pictures in life each day.  She thoroughly enjoys being a big boy just like her brothers and running alongside them as they ride their bikes up and down the road.  Also, she enjoys picking out her clothes to wear each day.  If you see her in mismatched whatnot it is probably because I made her wear something.  If she looks awesome, it's all due to her.  For being a 'big boy', the kid has some fabulous taste. 

And then there is Reese.  Our dear sweet cheeks Reese.  She is such a light in our lives.  I do not know how we ever lived without her.  Her little dimples are insanely adorable and she loves to laugh unless she's hungry or has a dirty diaper.  I try to keep up on both and thus we are endlessly entertained with deep belly laughs and high pitched squeals and songs.  They are endearing.  Even the ones at 5am.  Because we needed to get up anyway.  She's like our personal alarm clock with no off switch.  

I made a conscious decision this week to ignore the mountain of laundry on the couch that needs folded and instead work in my wood shop.  This particular bench will be a surprise for some friends (so don't tell) and I can't wait to give it to them.  It was just one of those weeks when 'watering flowers' was necessary for my soul.  Again, not literal flowers.  I had to give up on my garden this year.  It was beautiful until we had a kid spend several days in the hospital and then it rained and BOOM.  Weeds everywhere.  Sigh.  Next year we will do better for sure, if only because the bar is incredibly low at the moment.  

A friend posted this picture of me and I'm eternally grateful for it.  1, it proves that I exist and 2, it showcases me in my natural habitat.  Outside and with a baby in my arms.  I don't enjoy having my picture taken, but I just love that I have this one of Reese and I together.  

I was so excited to have one picture of me, but then there's this guy.  I have thousands upon thousands of pictures of him.  The kids will have photographic evidence galore of Wesley to look back on someday.  Sunday afternoons and evenings we try to spend together, just the six of us, and we had a ball last night getting this heifer haltered and smothered with affection.  We've no grand dreams of 'winning the state fair' as John suggested, but rather, we'd just like Kenyon to have a good taste in his mouth after this project and hopefully the other kiddos will be inspired by him too.  

So there it is, in a nutshell.  These are the flowers we've been watering lately.