Kitchen DIY

Do you have a friend that is expecting (besides me)?  Do you feel like acting like you're being really helpful but you also want to squeeze a joke in there somewhere too?  Fear not my friends, I have the solution for you.  True, I did this one to myself, but I can't wait till I know someone that gets preggo and I will totally do this to them. 

This pregnancy has been less than idyllic for me.  I am not one that floats around with some sort of ethereal glow about me.  I have the energy of a sloth.  I puke lots.  My back hurts.  And my poor husband gets to put up with this every day. 

It is well known that W does NOT perform projects inside the house.  Actually, that's being generous.  W does not perform projects within a 50 yard radius of our house.  This is my territory.  In my preggo brain genius-ness the other day, I decided the next time I had energy I was going to install new kitchen cabinet hardware and child safety locks on all the cabinet doors.  You read that right, child safety locks for a kid weighs approximately 1 1/2 pounds and is 8-9 inches long, and is currently still housed in my womb.  Because, ya know, I'm in "the family way." 

So the next time you need a giggle, find a friend that is preggers.  Offer to be really helpful and install child safety locks on all their cabinet doors.  While you're at it, place a hidden camera somewhere.  Or, don't even hide it.  With your friend's preggo brain she probably won't even notice it setting on top of the microwave in plain sight.  Grab a bowl of popcorn and laugh hysterically every time she walks to any lower cabinet and automatically jerks on the handle.  Watch as she jerks again, just for good measure and then grimaces because she installed child safety locks almost four months before the kid hits the ground, another six months before the kid starts to crawl, and another 1-2 months before they even think of opening a cabinet.  So, just to recap the math, that's approximately 1 year early folks.  I really can't wait for someone to tell me they're expecting now.  I can't wait to spread the joy.