Descriptive features

Sometimes it is necessary to take a step back from the situation that you are a part of in order to realize just how ridiculous it sounds.  Sometimes I don't realize how dorky I sound until I re-process a conversation in my head after a period of time has passed.  Need examples?  How about every time my mother and I try to describe people to one another. 

My mother is a hospice nurse, so she primarily deals with an older generation.  In high school I worked at a drug store, so I primarily dealt with an older generation.  We went to a Lutheran women's convention this weekend, so we primarily dealt with.... you get the picture. 

Dealing with an older generation so often has not deterred my mother's ability or methods (or mine) to describe people. 

Mom:  "You know, that woman we met this weekend - tiny, gray hair, sweet as can be..."

Me: "Glasses?"

Mom: "Well, yes."

Me (in my head):  "Well, that takes out everyone but the 92 year old that we ate breakfast with, only because she dyed her hair..." 

Mom: "She is a retired farmer's wife..."

Check two more off the list, only because they were pastors' wives.

I wanted to ask if she walked with a slight stoop and wore hearing aids, but of course that wouldn't really get me anywhere.  By the end of the conversation I still had no idea who my mother was referring to, but I'm pretty sure we've gotten it narrowed down to 97% of the women at the Holiday Inn convention center in Lawrence this past weekend. 

On anther note, I have decided who I would like to emulate when I reach the ripe old age of 92.  I don't even remember her name (tiny, glasses, hearing aids, slight stoop, but dyed her hair, which makes her totally stand out) but that woman was AWESOME.  As we were eating breakfast Sunday morning, a waiter walked by our table several times with various water and juice pitchers.  Once, when he walked by, the little old lady blurted out, "I'm sorry to keep staring, but you're just so HANDSOME!" 

My new goal in life is to reach the ripe old age where it is completely acceptable to have no filter.  26 years down, 66 years to go.