Poor Man's Art

My aunt Sara was gracious enough to share this poem with me.  I feel that it is quite fitting for this morning's beauty. 

Poor Man's Art

If it came to namin' great painters,

I couldn't even start.

But, I'm a regular patron

of the best in poor man's art.

The murals that I look at

are painted in the sky.

The sunsets on the Great Plains

surpass what money can buy.

That wild display of color

manifests in every hue,

from bloody red to shining gold,

from pink to turquiose blue.

Its extravagance can never be matched

in beauty or in size.

The glorious sunsets on the plains

reward the tiredest eyes.

I'm privileged to partake of beauty

that everyone can afford.

The gallery is the western sky,

and the painter is the Lord.

-Joe Kreger

Good Morning!

I'm going to brag about our little house on the prairie pretty hard core this morning, I apologize.  From my pillow on my side of the bed I can look out the window and see the sunrise every morning.  Ahhhhh.... 

When I woke up this morning I just knew it was going to be a great sunrise so as Wesley was headed to the shower I headed out the door and hollered, "I'll be back Honey, I'm just going to go shoot for a little while."  He paused in his tracks and you could nearly see the wheels in his mind turning, trying to figure out if I was taking my gun or my camera.  I like to keep him guessing. 

I normally try not to post too many pictures for those that might have slow internet, but I just can't oblige those of you this morning.  And really, this is a verrrry abridged version of how many pictures I actually took.  I hope everyone has a super day! 

*These were all taken on the watershed across the road from our place.*

And sorry, some of these I enlarged to a ridiculously large size for emphasis. 

  I realize that everyone is scratching their heads right now.  Why are these photos here?  As I was walking to and from the watershed I noticed this new activity.  I believe that it's either the work of a beaver or a 7 year old boy with a hatchet.  I didn't think that we had any beavers in this area, but then again, I'm really sure that we don't have any little boys.... so I think its apparent who the culprit is.

You can't make this stuff up...

So.... the puppy delivery was "interesting" to say the least.  I made the trek to Moline, America, population 27ish.  Dave and his daughter were going to be a little late so I drove the four North/South and East/West streets over and over until I was scared that someone might call the police, thinking I was casing their place (thank you Law & Order for making me paranoid about these types of things). 

I called Dave, a man I had never met, to work out the details where we would meet. 

Me: Well, I don't know if you've ever been here before, but there's really only one main business street. 

Dave: Sounds great, is there a business where there's some light so we don't have to transfer this pup in the dark?

Me: Yeah... just the bar.  I'll be parked in my vehicle in front of it.

Dave: Hey, hey, hey, I thought your brother-in-law said you were a married woman.  This sounds alright!

Me: (Huge groan.  I may have accidentally let it out right in the phone speaker where he could hear it too.)

So there was the first "fun" event of the evening. 

I parked in front of the bar, waiting on Dave and talking to my sister on the phone.  I saw a car in my rear view mirror pull up and park directly behind me in the middle of the street.  I figured that it was Dave so I hung up on my sister and got out of the vehicle to greet the man.  My eyes got huge when a man that clearly had not been in high school for 20 years yet was still wearing his letter jacket got out of the passenger door of this car and started giving me the creeper eye.  You know - the one where you feel dirty and you instantly wish you had transferred that pepper spray into your new purse. 

I tried to play it off like I was reaching into my backseat for something and awkwardly opened my rear door and started to shuffle non-existent papers and pet the puppy.  After a looooooong period of killing time I looked up to find that Creeper Man was standing at the front door of the bar, staring at me. 

Creeper Man: You coming inside girl?  Its awful cold out here.  I could buy you a drink to warm you up. 

Me: (swallow my vomit) Thanks, I'm waiting on a friend to get here first.  I'll be in there in a minute!  (insert wink and cheesy hand-pointed-like-a-gun wave)

Creeper Man: What's your friend's name?  I bet I know him. 

Me: (screaming in my head: His name is Ah-nold and he's gonna kick your ass!) Um, well, he's from out of town... I'm actually trying to call him right now! (All the while desperately trying to find my phone in my coat pocket and decide if it was quicker to call 911 or my sister.  I decided that in case of emergency at least Karalina could nag him to death.) 

When I finally reached her on the phone I gave him another friendly little smile and wave and he FINALLY made his way into the bar where he continued to check up on me through the glass door.  For the next 10 minutes I relayed my story to her and then listened as she put it on speaker phone and nearly cut off all her oxygen flow from laughing too hard. 

This may be the end of my puppy delivering days.

The Sleepover

My older sister has one male and one female dog.

Does everyone see where this is going?

My sister has puppies.

Yesterday, through a series of texts and phone calls that I won't bore you with, it was decided that I would deliver one of her puppies to a man near Oklahoma tonight.  Karalina brought "Slim" down to our house last night and we had our little girls' first sleepover.  So exciting.  They grow up so quickly... sniff, sniff.  Sorry, I'm heavy on sarcasm today.

Slim had a bit of a hard time adjusting to our little girls' pace and rambunctious ways.  It seems that although he wrestled with his siblings, they didn't add in the growl feature and that scared the pee out of him SEVERAL times.  There was a plethora of "piddle" puddles around our shop and house.  Yeah, say that five times fast.

Everyone had to sleep in the dog pen together last night and all went well.  Maybe tooooooooo well.  Apparently it didn't take long for little Slim to acclimate himself to the finer points of blue-heeler-sumo-wrestling and this morning when Wesley let them all out it was just a blur.  More like a pinwheel of white/black/blue that rolled across the yard.

Thank goodness that after tonight we're down to just two again.  I think we've hit our limit with enough crazy for one household!

Purse Purge

Every so often I get overtaken by the urge to purge my home of belongings that are weighing me down.  This usually involves mostly small items and paper based products like report cards from 4th grade.  This year, following the holidays, the same urge began to overtake me.  Since I was nearly out of paper goods to purge I decided to take my skills up a notch - the purse pile. 

Don't get me wrong, I am NOT a cutesy person who has a bag to match every outfit.  However, every so often I find something on the clearance aisle at Target or find something moderately attractive at the local Goodwill store.  I'm also big into being gifted hand-me-downs from aunts and mothers (well, my mother).  Apparently, every time I change purses I only clear out the essentials that need to move into the next purse.  Poor Wesley came home one afternoon to find me surrounded by a pile (a fleet? a herd? a murder? I don't know the correct gregarious term for purses) of purses and small, baby stacks of accumulated items. 

* 7 purses

* 19 tampons

* 4 pocket knives

* 2 box cutters

* 1 can of pepper spray (it was the most romantic Valentine's Day gift ever from my mother)

* 11 bobby pins

Also included but not counted: pill cases, toothpicks, gum, hair ties, coupons (unfortunately, expired), old checks, lip gloss, lip balm, and loose change. 

I guess when you look back over my list it appears that I tend to have raging PMS and anger issues, but I assure you that's not the case.  I dare you- clean out your purses and look at your inventory from an outsider's perspective.  Its not pretty but the end result, the purging of clutter, is oh so satisfying.

Grocery Shopping

Wesley and I don't normally make a habit of shopping together.  Every once in a blue moon I get jealous of seeing all those lovey-dovey couples walking the isles of stores together, hand in hand, adoringly gazing into one another's eyes and genuinely caring about and respecting the other's shopping choices. 

We are not that couple. 

It just so happened on Saturday that we both needed items from the big town 30 minutes away and we decided to run errands together in the feed pickup.  Big mistake.

He dropped me off at Walgreens to purchase a few items and he was going to drive one block away to the hardware store and pick up a pallet of concrete for fence building.  As I stepped out of the pickup I sarcastically mentioned that, "I don't know if I can live without you for five minutes, I love you so much, blah, blah, blah."  To which he replied, "Yeah, whatever." 

I got 10 yards away from the pickup when I heard the cattle siren blare.  If you've never had the pleasure of hearing one of those, consider yourself lucky.  I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around slowly to see my beloved, my husband jumping up and down in his seat, waving to me and mouthing the words "I LOVE YOU TOO!"  I ducked my head and tried to hurry into the store and avoid the stares from all the elderly shoppers who had just unwillingly tested their pacemakers. 

We finished that fiasco and headed to the grocery store.  I did apologize to Wesley before we headed in because I do recognize the fact that I can get a little crazy when I've got a pile of coupons in my hand.  I'm not like that every time I go to the store, I promise, but once a quarter I do a MAJOR shopping trip and today was that unfortunate day. 

I feel that it was payback for his behavior earlier.  He got to follow me while I perused through all the isles muttering things like, "This is RIDICULOUS!  When we got married that box only cost $4.99!  Now it's over a dollar higher.  Thank goodness I have that coupon for $1.50 off!"  "Put that box down!  We have three in the cupboard at home and you've managed to eat portions of all three!"  "You can't have another bottle of that until you finish the ones in the fridge.!"  "No way Jose, the last time I bought that I had to throw away some of it that went bad!" 

An elderly man was following us through the aisles.  Yes, it could have been coincidence but I'm pretty sure he was just doing it for the entertainment value.  As we finally made our way to the frozen section and were finishing up our shopping trip from Hell the man obviously couldn't take it anymore and starting laughing in one of those deep, belly laughs.  I pounced on the opportunity and said, "SEE?! Even he thinks you're being a pain in the butt!"  The man just kept laughing and as he pushed his cart past us he said, "This is just too good... hehehe..."

After this weekend I think that I have finally given up the romantic notion of the two of us ever shopping together ever again.

DIY Tips

I don't like to brag, but I'm pretty much becoming an expert at this whole DIY thing and I thought I'd share some helpful tips for those of you who are new to the game. 

1.  Begin very labor intensive projects immediately prior to important events- birthday parties, BBQ's, baby showers.

2.  Begin aforementioned projects in a very conspicuous spot, preferably in front of doors or high-traffic areas.

3.  Never mention to your husband when paint is still wet, or the fact that he can't walk on certain sections of floor that may still need to dry.  It keeps him on his toes..... sometimes literally.

4.  Don't read directions.  They're overrated.  I'm sure Picasso didn't bother with directions and he's regarded as a genius.

5.  Buy the smallest quantity of paint/stain/sealant possible.  That way you can run out right before the end and need to drive 30 minutes to the nearest town for more supplies.  This will also increase the amount of time that the project must sit in a "convenient" area. 

6.  Finish a project, move it into its designated spot, and then decide to do something else. 
For example- I built a t.v. stand, primed, painted and moved it into the living room.  I stacked it FULL of cookbooks and electronics and then decided that it needed more work.  I then had to take everything back off it, move furniture out of my path and drag it back outside.  *I also threw in a bit of Hint #5 as I didn't have the required glaze to complete the project so I had to drive to town just for a pint of paint.*  And... I don't mean to brag, but I also included Hint #1 (we were having company over for supper). 

7.  If by some chance you should experience a stroke of genius, don't write anything down.  There is no chance that this information will ever be helpful to humankind ever again.  Ever. 

8.  Only tape off and protect things AFTER the first coat of paint is already on OR when you are 3/4 done with several of the same item (i.e. staining 4 doors and waiting till the last one to tape off the handles). 

9.  Start all unfamiliar projects in the most visible area.  That way, once you're experienced and things look perfect, say.... your concrete floors, everyone can see your obvious imperfections in front of the ice box and you can then set your washer and dryer over those lovely square feet of perfection in the utility room. 

Sorry to toot my own horn so much, but I just thought that I should share some of my wisdom with the rest of the world.  It should be illegal for one person to have this much talent.  And yes, Home Improvement was one of my favorite shows to watch growing up.  I know you were wondering.

New Year's Resolutions

I always try to set some lofty goals for the new year, hoping that this is the year I will become one of those impossibly perfect people.

However, in the past three days I have cussed, drank, slept in past 6am (it was only 6:20!) and not run a half-marathon, or mile, or yard....

BUT in the past three days I have managed to shoot some lovely outdoor pictures (non of which I will share with you because I don't have my transfer cable with me), shoot some guns, get horseback and gather cattle and most importantly see my family.

We'll just go ahead and call this year a wash and look forward to trying again next year.