Uh, Mom...

I hear this phrase quite often from my two-and-three-quarters year old son.

Uh, Mom?

It's toddler-speak for Hey, Dumbass.  Except we no longer say ass at our house.  We don't even say butt.  We say bottom.  Hey, Dumbbottom.

We were getting ready to leave the house one day and run some errands in town.  I was feeling especially spry and decided to grace the world with a half-hearted attempt at joining society.  I wore jeans and a t-shirt (as opposed to sweats and a t-shirt) and I had even sort of fixed my hair.  Okay, that's a total lie.  I had fixed my hair the day before when we went to church and it was still decent enough to last me through a Monday.  Yay for the small victories in life!

Just as we were getting ready to walk out the door I decided to give my hair a final little spritz of hairspray.  As a girl who spent several years living south of the Mason-Dixon line I learned that sometimes you need a little somethin' somethin' to help your gorgeous hairdo stay fabulous for the rest of the day.  I am far from having gorgeous hair, but doggoneit I was trying.

I grabbed a can of hair product off the shelf and went sssssshhhhhhhhhhh all over the top of my head.  I then confidently placed the can back on the shelf and turned towards the door, ready to conquer the world with my two sweet cherubs.

"Uh, Mom?"

Sigh.....  Those two words completely let the wind out of my sails in an instant.  Nothing good ever comes from this phrase.

"Uh, Mom?  What's that white stuff on your head?"

I slowly turned and faced the mirror.  I looked like a poor imitation of George Washington in a terrible white wig.  Turns out I had mistakenly grabbed a can of volumizing mousse instead of hairspray.  I had never even used that product before.  Well, I had never used it until this moment.

I then spent the next few minutes using a comb and some toilet paper to scrape off and absorb most of the product from my hair.  And find a suitable ball cap, which I should have just done in the first place.

So these days I find small victories to celebrate in life every day.  Chiefly, I count the entire day as a 'win' if I never hear those dreaded words...

"Uh, Mom?"