Naptime: A Comedy of Errors

Naptime at our house is a bit of a sacred thing.  Have you ever been around a sleep deprived baby?  I bet you didn't make that same mistake twice.  If I do nothing else right as a mother, I will guarantee that my child is as well rested as possible, baring some sort of major catastrophe.

Last week was nothing out of the ordinary for us.  Lunchtime came and went and I proceeded to make the house dark for Kenyon's afternoon nap.  I turned off the lights, let the blinds down on the windows, turned the television down to absolutely nothing.  Kenyon and I had just sat down in the rocking chair with a fresh bottle.  His eyes rolled back in his head with those first few big gulps of refreshing milk replacer.  (Sorry, formula for all you non-farm type folks.)

Just then, I heard it.  A four wheeler came up our drive, parked and shut off.  My father-in-law, Gregg, walked up to the back door and pressed his face to the glass, looking for signs of life in our house.  I tried to shake my head furiously to let him know that now was NOT the time to visit.

So he missed the violent head shaking and came in anyway.

"IS IT NAPTIME? he asked.  By the way, he whispers like a four year old in church many times.  Which, in fact, is not a whisper at all.

I shook my head yes, and kind of shrug my shoulders.  I could see that this bit of slumber was going downhill very quickly.

"I JUST NEED TO PICK UP THAT PAPERWORK FROM WES.  WHERE IS IT?" he continued.  I motioned that it was in the stack of papers on the kitchen table.

"DON'T WORRY, I'LL JUST GET THESE PAPERS AND THEN I'LL LEAVE."  It sounded like packrats had invaded my kitchen as he dug through the pile.  (Total aside, but why is it that men have a total inability to do anything quietly, yet they all think they slink around like 007?  Seriously.)

He finally found the papers and proceeded to sit at the kitchen table and review them.  This would have been fine; however, 30 seconds later his cell phone proceeded to ring.  He, of course, answered it.  But he covered his mouth and walked three steps over to the kitchen sink, which was a totally legit way of masking any sort of noise.

"HELLO?  HEY, WES - CAN I CALL YOU BACK?  YEAH, ANNA AND KENYON ARE IN HERE IN YOUR HOUSE WITH ME AND I THINK SHE MAY BE TRYING TO PUT HIM DOWN FOR A NAP SO I REALLY CAN'T TALK MUCH.  I WILL HANG UP AND CALL YOU BACK IN A LITTLE BIT WHEN I'VE HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK OVER ALL THIS PAPERWORK."

Two things happened that afternoon.

1. Kenyon did not, in fact, go to sleep after that episode.  Surprise, surprise.

2. I could not have written anything more perfect for a sitcom.