Fun!

A girl and her reciprocating saw. It's a beautiful thing.

I Keep Missing the View

No, not "The View."  I've never seen that talk show in my life and I don't intend to start now.  (I'm more of a "Criminal Minds" type person anyway.  Surprised?  Probably not.)

Anyhoo, I'm missing my own point of missing the view.

I find myself not seeing any of Wesley's funny faces anymore.  I don't get to see the dogs wrestling with each other.  I haven't really looked at a single baby calf up close yet this year.  I'm missing so many good things in life, right?

Wrong.

Comedic Timing is Not My Thing

I tell highly inappropriate jokes.  Or, as I like to think of it, jokes that 99.9% of the population doesn't quite 'get.' 

Example #1: 
We were walking into the veterinarian's office in town.  As I was walking in, carrying my dear, sweet, innocent baby, a tiny, frail, little-ol' woman was hobbling out. 

"What a precious little baby," she said, as she pinched his chubby, cherub-like cheeks.  "What are you two here for today?" she asked. 

"Rabies shots" I replied with a stoic voice. 

She hobbled off with her cane very quickly to her nearby car. 

Example #2:
This is more like a reoccurring faux pas of mine.  It still keeps cracking me up, even though everyone's reaction is always some varying degree of recoil. 

"Hey, how's the baby?"  They all ask. 

"Doing great.  He's 7 months old and fits pretty well into his 18 month clothing" is my typical reply. 

"Holy cow! (or some similar response) What are you doing to that kid?!"

"Not much, I guess those cattle implants really did the trick." 

And inevitably, there is always an uncomfortable pause that follows this conversation.  Bummer. 

Never rock your baby to sleep

"Never rock your baby to sleep."

I can't tell you how many times I've been told that.  I try pretty hard to listen to that advice, but from time to time, you just have to tell the experts to shove it.

Kenyon has been fussy lately, running a bit of a temperature and trying to teethe.  On nights like these, I disregard all the 'rules' and snuggle with my baby.

I absolutely love rocking him to sleep.  He's the best cuddler in the world, hands down.  He has to be.  There is no one in the world that can be more snuggle-ish than my son.  I hope that I never forget these quiet moments and the way his face burrows into the crook of my arm and he plants his left hand firmly on my chest, telling me not to move from my current post.  I simply can't soak in moments like that enough. 

Sometimes you just have to disregard the experts and take the time to rock your baby to sleep. 

Birthday Wishes

A conversation in our house this morning. 

Person 1:  Honey, you know what I'd like for my birthday present this year?  I'd like a long coat rack/storage bench in our utility room.  Something where I can hang chore coats up top and dirty mud boots down below, set gloves on the bench to dry.  Do you think you could do something like that?

Person 2:  Sigh.  Yeah, probably so.  Give me a day or two and I'll see what I can come up with. 




Guess which one was Wesley, and guess which one was me. 

The day I tried to throw our child

Alternate titles for this post include:

• Why we now hold hands while nursing
• I'm glad our child is too heavy to throw (far)
• I hate snakes

We have a routine in the mornings.  I get ready for my day and then wake Kenyon.  He gets a diaper change, wardrobe change, and then we sit in the rocking chair where he nurses and I watch the Today Show.  (Miss you, Ann Curry!  Side note: I always wanted to go to New York and hold up a sign on the Plaza that said "Anna Curry came to meet Ann Curry."  But I digress.)

Last week we were finishing up our morning routine (ie, nursing).  One of the opening news stories that day was about some deadly poisonous snake in Australia that fell onto a car's windshield.  The driver turned on his windshield wipers to try and 'sweep' the snake off his vehicle, and the passenger whipped out his cell phone to take video of the escapade.  (Do folks just walk around with their phones on the 'video' setting nowadays?  I can never record something that quickly.)

Let it be known that I am deathly afraid of snakes.  They are the devil in the Bible for a reason, folks.

So I was already on high alert while watching this segment.  Suddenly, I felt something small and cold start to 'slither' across my chest.  I then did what any reasonable person would do - I screamed like a banshee and tried to throw the deadly poisonous snake that had obviously just snuck into my house across the room.

I looked down just in time to see that it was my son's hand that had 'slithered' across my chest.  I jerked my hands that were holding him back down so he didn't complete his sail across the room.  His eyes were huge.  After hearing my scream, he screamed (we all screamed for ice cream!) and started to cry.  I screamed again for good measure and started to cry along with him.

Since then, we hold hands like a loving mother and child while he nurses.  I also don't watch shows that involve snakes. 

The End.