The "Other" Side of 4-H

I had the unique opportunity last week to judge a 4-H fashion revue for a nearby county.  It brought back a flood of memories during my drive down to judge it...

Our fashion revue was the one day a year that we went all out and acted like a pageant family.  Hairspray, lipgloss, fake smiles, oh yeah- we were big time.  We knew exactly how to do a three point turn, our triangle pattern on the floor and never lose eye contact with the judge.  We'd arrive to the church where it was held more than an hour early, get our curlers plugged in to warm up (if we didn't wear a head full of curlers in the suburban on the way over) and have every outfit planned to a T, complete with accessories and different hairstyles to show just how versatile we really were.  I'm telling you, Big Time. 

So the longer I drove last week, the more I had myself hyped up with all sorts of grand images of my childhood mixed in with too many Toddlers and Tiaras promo commercials intertwined and I had myself convinced I was one step away from judging the Miss America pageant.  The only difference is that those judges don't ask them how they would launder their garmets, and if there would ever be another occassion when they could wear this fabulous sequined ballgown. 

I arrived at the church where the judging was to take place 45 minutes early.  I was ashamed of myself and planned a very lengthy apology to the extension agent.  I, however, pulled up the same time as her.  Hmmmmm.  I helped set up the runway (I moved the Sunday school tables up against the wall).  I kept checking my watch - where is everyone?!?!  Five minutes before judging was scheduled to start, families started rolling in.  No curlers, no garmet bags, one girl brought her dog. 

I started with sewing projects, the highlight of which was suggesting to a child that perhaps she launder her pillowcase next year before judging to remove the drool spots from it.  I had a high school girl tell me that she was going to wear her prom dress "lots and lots" and that it was made of cotton.  Very shiny and sparkly cotton.  Hmmmm.  I can't remember if she was the same girl that had bubble gum in her mouth or not, but I digress.  Needless to say, I suggested that perhaps a workshop be held next year prior to the fair to gently instruct the participants on how serious of a deal this really is.  I mean, really, how often does a country kid get to be a pageant diva and get away with it?

I'm looking forward to perhaps judging there next year.  With my help and direction we could knock another little chunk out of the ozone with all the hairspray I'd give them, plus starch for their jeans.  That, coupled with a tube of lipgloss (per little girl).... oh yeah.  I'm already looking forward to it!