The "Other" Side of 4-H

I had the unique opportunity last week to judge a 4-H fashion revue for a nearby county.  It brought back a flood of memories during my drive down to judge it...

Our fashion revue was the one day a year that we went all out and acted like a pageant family.  Hairspray, lipgloss, fake smiles, oh yeah- we were big time.  We knew exactly how to do a three point turn, our triangle pattern on the floor and never lose eye contact with the judge.  We'd arrive to the church where it was held more than an hour early, get our curlers plugged in to warm up (if we didn't wear a head full of curlers in the suburban on the way over) and have every outfit planned to a T, complete with accessories and different hairstyles to show just how versatile we really were.  I'm telling you, Big Time. 

So the longer I drove last week, the more I had myself hyped up with all sorts of grand images of my childhood mixed in with too many Toddlers and Tiaras promo commercials intertwined and I had myself convinced I was one step away from judging the Miss America pageant.  The only difference is that those judges don't ask them how they would launder their garmets, and if there would ever be another occassion when they could wear this fabulous sequined ballgown. 

I arrived at the church where the judging was to take place 45 minutes early.  I was ashamed of myself and planned a very lengthy apology to the extension agent.  I, however, pulled up the same time as her.  Hmmmmm.  I helped set up the runway (I moved the Sunday school tables up against the wall).  I kept checking my watch - where is everyone?!?!  Five minutes before judging was scheduled to start, families started rolling in.  No curlers, no garmet bags, one girl brought her dog. 

I started with sewing projects, the highlight of which was suggesting to a child that perhaps she launder her pillowcase next year before judging to remove the drool spots from it.  I had a high school girl tell me that she was going to wear her prom dress "lots and lots" and that it was made of cotton.  Very shiny and sparkly cotton.  Hmmmm.  I can't remember if she was the same girl that had bubble gum in her mouth or not, but I digress.  Needless to say, I suggested that perhaps a workshop be held next year prior to the fair to gently instruct the participants on how serious of a deal this really is.  I mean, really, how often does a country kid get to be a pageant diva and get away with it?

I'm looking forward to perhaps judging there next year.  With my help and direction we could knock another little chunk out of the ozone with all the hairspray I'd give them, plus starch for their jeans.  That, coupled with a tube of lipgloss (per little girl).... oh yeah.  I'm already looking forward to it!

Tomatoes

I have always helped my folks garden, so tomatoes are nothing new to me.  Bacon and tomato sandwiches are a staple of my summertime diet every year.  But this year, I get to call them MY tomatoes.  Yes, Grandma Curry told me where to plant them, when to plant them, how to stake them, when to water, when to weed, blah, blah, blah,.... but dangit - I'm still claiming them!  And her tomatoes on the other side of the garden still haven't ripened yet so nanny nanny boo boo.  (That's right, that's all I've got when trying to keep my posts G-rated.  Believe me, it kills me.)

Drumroll please....

My first pickins' worth.  They're not terribly big, but with the heat we've had this year I'm just glad to have any.  And the juice factor more than makes up for it. 

Hooray for the bright spot in this miserably oppressive heat wave!

P.S.- On a totally different note, Laurie has learned to blow bubbles underwater in the moat.  Stay tuned. 

The Moat, Part 2

In case there was any doubt in anyone's mind as to the extent that the little girls enjoy our moat; please, put your fears to rest.  Also, I feel the following pictures will help fully express how much our two little girls are polar opposites.

 Please notice how there are no ripples in the water when Loopie stands and soaks up the cool wonderfulness of it all.

 Laurie has a routine down now.  She cannon balls in, scoops up as much mud and water with her head as she can, and then proceeds to run from one end to the other of her roughly 6 foot long moat.

Yes, this is her head hitting the ground first.  No, I do not know how she does not snap her neck when she does this on a nightly basis.

And.... the shake.  Notice how Loopie is always standing out of the water when Laurie is in it?  I would like to take video of this entire sequence, but I feel that I would laugh and shake too much and there really wouldn't be much video to watch!

Another thing that Laurie thoroughly enjoys.... Notice the little six inch ledge on the far side of the moat?  Laurie wiggles her butt up there and then slides down into the water time and time again.  I REALLY couldn't hold still enough to get a picture of that!

Birth Control

Yesterday afternoon was soooooo hot and I decided that I could stay inside and do laundry and play the feminine card.  I also was feeling especially soft so I let the little girls into the house too.  They know the "summer rules" and they are not allowed to touch the carpet, only staying on our concrete floors.  Normally this is not a problem and they both come in the house and flatten themselves out as much as possible, getting the greatest amount of surface area possible to touch the cool concrete floor.


I let the girls in, switched around all my loads of laundry, and plopped down on the couch to try and finish crocheting on a blanket I've been meaning to finish for ages.  I crocheted away happily for a few moments soaking in the coolness, peace and quiet...


That was it - peace and quiet.  Something there should not be.  I didn't turn my head at all (that would have been a dead give-away) but simply perked up my ears, and there it was.  That small, soft rumble of a quiet fight.  My sisters and I could do this when we were little - achieving the maximum amount of physical violence with the minimum amount of noise possible before getting caught.  I just had no idea that this talent was transferable between species.


I slowly turned my head so as not to attract attention to myself.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw two blue heeler dogs doing some sort of sumo-esque wrestling with teeth bared in their fiercest, most silent snarls.  Loopie caught my glance out of the corner of her eye and instantly she dropped Laurie's throat out of her mouth, the snarl turned into a grin, she wrestled herself out of the tangle of paws and tails that she was in and sat quietly.  Laurie failed to get the message and kept trying to take pot-shots at Loopie while she was sitting so still.  Finally, the two made eye contact and Laurie figured out that they'd "been had".  She quickly adjusted her attitude to mimic Loopie's and there sat the two most angelic figures with beaming smiles on their faces.


They got kicked outside promptly.

The Moat

Has anyone ever known that intense pain and suffering was awaiting them and there was absolutely nothing that could be done to stop it?  (Besides giving birth.)  I guess what I'm really asking is, has anyone else ever tried to feed a blind bucket calf? 

Wes brought me my new little bundle of joy yesterday evening.  He found him out in the pasture and thinks that the intense heat stress coupled with some unknown factor caused him to go blind.  Yuck.  Just because the little guy is blind; however, it does not mean that he is in any way feeble.  That little bugger can kick the crap out of anything.  It is very true that the lack of one sense is compensated for by the others. 

I finally got the calf pinned into a corner, straddled him and got a half of a bottle of milk into him.  Success!  I looked towards the other end of the shed and saw both Loopie and Laurie laying on the concrete staring at me with a pitiful, forlorn look on their faces.  The poor girls were forced to share their space with soooo many bucket calves over the course of the winter and spring and now to have to do it all over again.... sigh.... I felt incredibly guilty.  I needed to make it up to them. 

Sooooo, when the concrete truck came to pour the concrete for our porch several months ago, it was actually wet enough to cut deep ruts in our yard.  And yes, the ruts still exist.  Its on my list of things to do, get off my case.  Wes and I have affectionately named this rut "The Moat".  Once upon a time when there was actually rain in Kansas we saw it filled and the name has stuck since then. 

Because I felt so badly about the little girls having to share their shed space I decided that filling the moat on this miserably hot day would make for a nice peace offering.  I ran the hose across the yard and watched the water begin to flow.  Loopie trotted up peacefully, standing next to the edge, watching her reflection in the water, gently lapping it up and making tiny waves.....

Laurie came like a shot out of nowhere and did a flying cannonball into the middle of the moat, effectively covering everyone in the near vicinity in a muddy, hairy, nasty mess.  "Did she stop there?" you ask yourself.  Not a chance.  Some little switch in her head went off (or went on, depending upon how you want to look at it) and she went absolutely ballistic for the next 15 minutes.  She would run figure 8's around our yard like she was one of the children in the Family Circus cartoons, do a flying cannon ball into the moat, chase after Loopie and myself, laughing as we ran and screamed each time, shake off, and repeat the ENTIRE process.  Over and over and over.... 

Wesley pulled up in the feed pickup last night right at dark.  I thought that maybe, just maybe, it might be dark enough out that he wouldn't notice the state of nastiness that the three of us girls were in.  Man, I was wrong.  It was a toss up as to who got into more trouble, what with Loopie and I pointing the finger of blame (or paw in Loopie's case) at Laurie and vice versa.  I'll call it a draw.  I just know that I can't wait to do it alllllll over again tonight!

I apologize for the blurry nature of these pictures.  These were taken with my camera phone and I was trying to jump near Laurie for a picture and then jump away suddenly before she would start her full body shake.  Its the same sort of adrenaline rush that photographers get when photographing wildlife in the jungle or Serengeti desert I would imagine. 

Fuddy-duddy

I have come to the conclusion that Wesley and I are fuddy-duddies.  And yes, the fact that we use the word fuddy-duddy should probably have been our first hint. 

Don't get me wrong, we both cut a verrrrry wide swathe when we were younger.  And yes, if we ever have children that will grow up to read this post, I will have deleted that sentence.  These days, we enjoy the simple, boring things in life.  We rise early, I pre-make my coffee for the next day during the morning before as soon as I finish my pot, I crochet, garden and do wood working, and Wesley feeds cattle and builds fence for fun.  If we get really wild we load a trailer full of old metal junk from around our barns or out of our lots and pens on the weekends and take it to the scrap yard for extra money.  Two of the past three New Year's Eves, we were in bed by 10:30.  You get the picture...

However, the reality of our fuddy-duddiness really hit us in the face earlier this week.  We threw a 4th of July party this weekend, stayed up till 1am!!! and then worked on raking and baling hay most of the next few days.  Friends of ours called and invited us to supper a few days later and here was the scene:

Me: So..... wanna go out tonight?

Wes: Haven't we already done stuff one night this week?

Me: Technically, it was last week since our party was on Saturday night.

Wes: (blank stare)

Me: You're right, we should probably stay home and keep working. 

And thus our fate as old people for the rest of our lives was sealed. 

Pray for us.