Equal opportunity idiot

I not afraid to laugh at myself, and thankfully with this pregnancy the opportunities are more present than ever.  Pregnancy brain is no myth, my friends.  No myth at all. 

True, I'm sure there are varying levels of stupidity and lots of it probably has something to do with your level (or lack of) intelligence to begin with. 

The ladies I work with on a daily basis love the endless fodder of material that I provide to them for their humor and endless teasing pleasure.

Example #1:  In my defense, I knew what I was saying was terribly wrong, but for the life of me I could not come up with the correct name.  In many situations this isn't a problem.  For instance, when dealing with live people on a face to face basis.  I can cover with "buddy," "pal," and my favorite "hey, you!"  When telling a story; however, this can't always work. 

I don't even know why I was trying to tell a biblical story, but I was.  I was very adamant in telling our office professional all about Noah taking a float trip down the Nile in his little reed basket.  "You know, not Noah, but that one kid?"

She was so polite.  "Um, do you mean Moses?"

"That's the one!  Good job buddy!"  Pam, her name is Pam. 

Example #2:  There is a baptist church in town, the Maple Street Baptist Church* (yes, I changed the name).  They are quite small and I have never actually met someone who attends this church.  Keep that one important fact in your mind - small, small, small.

A friend came in the office one day and we covered a plethora of topics during our short visit together.  One of those topics was the Maple Street Baptist Church.  Another one of those topics was about a trucking company that is the largest employer in Greenwood County.

My poor, feeble mind was apparently on overload and not able to process two distinct thoughts separately.  My only contribution to the entire conversation was, "Wait - do you mean to tell me that Maple Street Baptist Church employs almost 90 people?  What in the world do they do with all of them?"

My friend was ever so tactful in his reply.  "What is wrong with you?" 

Pregnancy brain.  It's my excuse for the next several months.  Get used to it.  And get used to some really odd stories. 

Q & A

Prior to my last post, I realize I had been a bit laxidasical with my blogging duties.  It's not that we hadn't done anything fun or exciting (yeah, right)... it's just that I didn't feel like starting every story with "right after I puked" and then winding things up with "it ended/everyone went home/Wes had to stop the pickup when I puked."  Just not appealing to the masses.  But that has been our life lately. 

I'll go ahead a clear up a few questions that folks automatically throw out.

• When are you due?  The beginning of August.  The week after our county fair.  The hottest time of the year.  And no, we didn't take the time to check our calendars and figure all this out ahead of time.  

• What are you having?  A baby.  I think it's nice that God has given us a gift.  I was taught not to peek and ruin a surprise when you've been given a gift.  We are not concerned about finding out his sex or buying her outfits, we just keep praying for a healthy one.  Yet one more way that my husband and I are old fashioned fuddy-duddies.  

• Where will you put the baby in your small house?  We'll make it work folks.  Let's put this all in perspective.  Indians had babies all the time and they only had a papoose and a teepee.  We can make this work for quite a while in our tiny little place.  

• I haven't seen anything on Facebook yet!  (deep breath)  .....sigh.......  I just can't get comfortable with posting my life on Facebook where everyone from high school can see exactly what's going on with us.  I like to think of it like I'm leaving a little something for our 10 year class reunion.  And relatively few folks outside of close friends and family know about this little blog (yep, I'm talking about you, lady that works on the floor above my sister) so I feel safe(er) in this environment.  

I think that covers the bases for now.  And if you'll excuse me, now I have to (I'll leave you to figure out the ending). 

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